Thank You For Caring

Yesterday, I noticed that Arte Johnson was rather mopey. And by mopey, I mean that instead of being his usual jolly, "verrrrry interesting" self, he had his head down and refused to talk to anyone or do his work. Being the Super Teacher Sleuth that I am, I remembered that Arte was dating a student in one of my earlier classes and resolved to talk to her in the morning.

Me: Hey, Alphabet Soup, do you know what was wrong with Arte yesterday?

Alphabet Soup: Nope, no idea.

Me: Nothing at all? Because he seemed miserable in class.

Alphabet Soup: How should I know? I dumped him yesterday.

Quote of the Day - September 29, 2010

Thinks I Should Go Tanning: Miss, can I call you Ms. L-Booty from now on?

Teach, Vomit, Teach

Yesterday was without a doubt my worst day of teaching. My kids were well-behaved, and I had prepared my lessons in advance. But sometime around 11am, while I was teaching my 5th period class about sea turtles in the Gulf of Mexico, I moved my hands instinctively to my mouth. A moment later, I ran into the prep room that adjoins my room and vomited violently into the trash can. I returned and, amidst gleeful accusations that I was pregnant, continued to teach.

The same thing happened 6th period, though a little earlier in the lesson. I ran out of the room, vomited, and came back, all smiles to teach. At the same time, my body was starting to betray me. I could no longer stand up. My head pounded. My mouth burned. One of my best friends had invited me to observe his lesson during one of my free periods, but I couldn't even sit still at a desk without feeling pain and discomfort. I was committed to teaching my final, 9th period class, but I eventually accepted the obvious, that I was in no condition to get up in front of a class. Fortunately, my amazing coteacher, who has 9th period free, agreed to teach my class for me. I was helping her set up at the beginning of the period, when I knew I had to run. I didn't make it to the prep room but vomited into my classroom's trash can, just as two students walked in.

That last event really bothered me. While I don't want to get any students sick, it's important to me to teach at all times, even if I'm not feeling my best. In general, I think my students benefit more from their regular teacher functioning at 75% than a substitute. In this case, my coteacher does not really count as a substitute. She knew the material and handled the class impressively, given that she didn't know most of the students. Between me and her, she was the better choice to teach the class yesterday. Nevertheless, I was disappointed in myself. I thought I was invincible, but I guess I'm not.

Quote of the Day - September 28, 2010

Remember, way back when, how it was exclusively for college students?

Super Student (making plans with a friend in the hallway): I don't got my phone though, so just hit me up on the book.

Quote of the Day - September 27, 2010

Every Monday, I collect Do Nows from the previous week. Of the hundreds of Do Nows (well, maybe not that many. My students' submission rate is still rather low.) I read today, this was my favorite:

This weekend is going to pop. I am going to the Puerto Rican Day Parade on Sunday, which will be poping.

There is always an I In Team

via Graph Jam

Shiftiness

As long as I'm blogging about office supplies, I may as well rant a little bit about my most-hated office supply company: 3M.

Growing up, I took post-it notes for granted. But when one of my best friends from high school developed a minor obsession with them, I began to respect the brilliance of a piece of paper that contains its own adhesive. No tape. Yes convenience. Ten points for efficiency!

But recently, I've come to believe that 3M is evil (and quite clever). Super sticky post-it notes have infiltrated the market. Now, when I go office supply shopping, I have no choice but to spend more money on super sticky post-it notes because -- let's face it -- who wants to buy weakly sticky post-it notes?! I know I can't work with inferior quality. And 3M knows it can claim a slightly larger percentage of my paycheck.

Bastards.

VS

If It's Not Difficult, It's...

Yesterday, I spent 5 hard-earned dollars on an Easy button. Today, I found that my life as a teacher has changed forever. Owning an Easy button makes everything better. Smiles are easier, skips are easier, sarcasm is easier (not that I find any of those things challenging). I love it!

That was easy!

Gossip?

When I see kids passing notes during class, I like to think back to my own golden days of note passing. The scandals, the rumors...! So I was very excited when I saw that two students had left their sheet of paper behind on the desk. I grappled a bit with betraying their right to confidentiality, until I saw the sophistication of the note...

u suck!

u suck!

I hate you!

I dont like u

I dnt like you more slicer lol

you is slicer

nah ma nigga u iz

Why Am I Awake Right Now?

I knew I had a lot of work to do before the weekend began. Finish a unit plan, write daily lesson plans for submission to my principal, make slideshows for the week, grade quizzes, prepare labs. I did, however, expect to have plenty of time to hang out with friends and even go to the Phillies game on Saturday night. But Saturday afternoon came along, and I hadn't accomplished anything. I felt the stress monster creeping up on me. (What?? It's too early in the year for this!) So I canceled plans to go see Phillies, turned up Pandora (and used at least a quarter of my monthly allotment), and got to work. I made every effort to focus. I was fairly productive. Yet I only achieved one and a half of my goals for the night. I wasn't tired when I turned off my computer at 12:45am, but I figured it was necessary.

I jerked awake at 5:30am. (Seriously? That's a tad earlier than when I wake up during the work week.) After mentally rearranging all the clothes in my closet by color and reading five New York Times articles (Nate Silver is the man), I gave up and shuffled over to my desk. Right now, I am thinking deep thoughts about forensic science as I wait for the sun to come up.

Yes, I love my kids. Yes, I love teaching them. Yes, I wish I could have more fun and get more sleep on the weekends. But I gotta do what I gotta do, I guess.

Quote of the Day - September 15, 2010

Today is Wednesday, the fifth day of school this year. Two small, skinny girls are sitting together in the back of my classroom and chatting, waiting for class to start. One of them has come to school every single day so far; the other has appeared on my roster since the beginning, but this is only the first time I've seen her.

Ms. Absent: Sorry I couldn't come to school, Miss. I had to figure out daycare for my son.

Ms. Present: Omigod I know! Daycare was so much easier to find last year!

I didn't even ask how old their sons were...

Quote of the Day #2 - September 14, 2010

I assigned my students a poem by John Godfrey Saxe -- about six blind men, an elephant, and the power of observation. They had to read the poem and then answer a few questions that related the poem to the scientific method. Before we began to discuss the questions together, I asked them what they thought of the poem.

Several students raised their hands calmly. I called on them one by one.

Student #1: It was weird, yo.

Student #2: It was butt.

Student #3: (quite pensively) Well, it was definitely weird, but I wouldn't say it was butt.

Quote of the Day - September 14, 2010

I create attendance sheets for my students to sign in at the beginning of class each day. Typically, I update the sheets for each class every weekend, and then I make five copies for the coming week. At this time of year, students are switching classes so frequently that the attendance sheet I made on Friday afternoon does not necessarily reflect who is supposed to be in my class the next Tuesday.

Hairstyling Diva: Yo Miss, why isn't my name on the attendance sheet? I warned you yesterday...

Me: Hairstyling Diva, I told you already, you were just switched into my class. I promise, next week your name will be on there. Just write your name on the bottom for now.

Hairstyling Diva: No, Miss, that's hype.

Me: .....

Hairstyling Diva: LOOK, YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE? (looks incredibly huge and threatening, then breaks into a big smile.) Oh, Miss, we're so bff right now.

Highlights - September 13, 2010

It's Day 3! Wow! I'm so energized!

Some highlights:

• I'm free 1st period. I was chilling out, enjoying the peace and solitude, when two girls timidly opened the door and said in unison, "Hey, Miss!" I didn't know the girls, but they knew exactly who I was. (That's what you get for being a second-year teacher. Woohoo!) They explained that, after two days of school, they hate their 1st period class. Could they hang out with me during first period? Flattered, I let them stay for a few minutes before I sent them on their way. Guess I'm the cool teacher now!
• My kids were all delighted and weirded out by my energy. I told them life is too short to move slowly.
• On that note, my kids in 6th period ganged up on me. One of them asked, "Miss, why you so happy all the time?" And from another student: "What's to be so happy about?" "Yeah, don't you know life sucks?" I'm going to have to work on them. They'll see it my way before long.
• 9th period is my smallest class. Yet it is somehow my most talkative. Jabber jabber jabber will you please be quiet okay miss jabber jabber jabber. Why can I control 34 kids but not 8?

Overall, today was a really great day. Content-wise, we're doing dull scientific method stuff for now, so I'm very excited to get started on legit environmental and forensics coursework.

Quote of the Day - September 8, 2010

On Wednesday, my environmental science students competed with one another to build the tallest tower out of 50 straws and 1 meter of masking tape. The groups worked cooperatively and produced some pretty cool (and occasionally tall) towers.

I only had 6 students during 9th period. They separated themselves into a group of 4 and a group of 2 - 2 boys, in fact. The larger group worked quickly at assembling what became a 90 cm tower. Meanwhile, the boys were diligently building a twisted mess. I went over to investigate...

Possibly Problematic But Certainly Creative: Well, we knew they were going to win for the tallest tower... So we built the tallest roller coaster.

Quote of the Day - September 7, 2010

I was delighted to see that Combustible But Awesome, one of my favorite biology students, is taking Forensic Science with me this year. At the end of class, she approached me...

Combustible But Awesome: Miss, you know how I am. I really want to be good this year. But those girls behind me keep talking while you're talking, and I can't stand it. I held it in all day today, but I don't know if I can last. They're pissing me off! I'm gonna explode! Make them stop, miss, please!

The Blog Is Back... And So Is School

Hi everyone! Welcome back! I took an unannounced summer vacation from blogging. I apologize for that; I'll try to do better in the future.

Anyhow, I am back in the front of the classroom and ready to begin blogging again. Already, I am very excited for this year to get underway. I remember my first day of school last year -- how jittery and awkward I was. My students knew that I was new immediately. I thought they were oh so perceptive, but I realize now how easy it was to see through my scripted lines and unfamiliarity with the school.

Fast forward one year. I was much less prepared for the first day of school, which was yesterday, in the sense that I had not planned out every minute of every period. However, I knew what I wanted to say and what points I wanted to emphasize. I was much more relaxed and genuinely content to meet my new students. The result? With few exceptions, my kids were well-behaved and excited to learn. Several of them explicitly stated that they were looking forward to my class.

I'm looking forward to teaching them.

What a difference a year makes.