That's What Henry VIII Thought...

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: Miss, Imma get pregnant again. I really wanna girl. Baby girls are sooooo cute.

Me: What if it's not a girl?

Jet Engine: Oh, it will be. That's what I want.

Quote of the Day - January 7, 2011

Miss Mommy: Miss, why don't you have kids yet? Aren't getting a little old? I mean, I had my son when I was sixteen.

Quote of the Day - January 5, 2011

Decibals: Yeah, I love visiting my boyfriend in jail. He so sexy.

Things That Make Me Nostalgic

Sadly, Rappin' Hairdo was switched out of my class. We have become great friends in the few weeks since.

I saw him today in the hallway...

Rappin' Hairdo: I miss your class so much. Your class just be so poppin', and I learned so much about ecology and jawns like that.

Bad Romance

Speaking of Alphabet Soup, she and Arte Johnson got back together and then had (another) massive break-up. I spotted Arte walking around with band-aids over the upper left-hand side of his coat. :(

Biology Problem of the Day - November 2, 2010

Yesterday, we played review Trashketball for today's test on community ecology. One of my review questions was "What is symbiosis?"

A+ Student wrote down, "the study of symbols."

Junior Class Elections, Part Two

Elections were held during advisory (homeroom) on Friday. As I posted here, the candidates had a chance to give their speeches to the class in an assembly on Thursday. As a result, nearly every junior should have recognized the names on the ballot.

Really Nice Girl: I already voted, did you?

Really Not Nice Girl: I'm not f***ing voting.

Really Nice Girl: Oh you should, the class officers are going to plan prom and stuff.

Really Not Nice Girl: Well, I don't f***ing know anyone who's running.

Really Nice Girl: Oh. Didn't you go to that assembly yesterday?

Really Not Nice Girl: No, I cut. F*** this... where are the black kids? I'll vote for them.

While I'm Lecturing About Food Webs...

Female Student #1: What chew doin' tomorrow?

Female Student #2: Buyin' new clothes for my son.

Female Student #1: Ohhhh that reminds me, I hafta buy new clothes for my son also.

Female Student #3: Oh, I get all my daughter's clothes from my older sister.

Female Student #2: Hey Miss, you got a kid?

Field Trip Woes

Hasn't Come to Class in Four Weeks: Can I drive my own car behind the bus? I'll leave from school and meet you guys at the environmental center.

Me: No, I'm pretty sure the school district won't allow it. You know, there are liability issues and all. You need to take the bus with us if you want to come.

Hasn't Come to Class in Four Weeks: Well.... I got shot three weeks ago, and I can't take buses for another month.

All's Fair in Love and War

Alphabet Soup dumped Arte Johnson. (I found out when I spotted Arte sobbing in the stairwell.) To make matters worse, their rosters were changed so that they are now both in the same Environmental Science class. Oh, irony.

Sad Quote of the Day - October 22, 2010

I was explaining the difference between K-strategists and r-strategists.

Me: So if a human mother has two to five children, how many of those children will live to adulthood?

Has Two Kids: Maybe one or two. The rest will get shot.

Plea #2

I got another note from my desperate student:

Hi Ms. I jost wanna told yoo yoo are the best and this test I do the best I can jost because I wanna fix my grade.

A Plea

One month into the school year, many of my students are failing my class. One of them left me this note on my attendance sheet:

I don't wanna no "f" please. My mom gonna kill me... help me please, please miss. Love you a lot.

Thank You For Caring

Yesterday, I noticed that Arte Johnson was rather mopey. And by mopey, I mean that instead of being his usual jolly, "verrrrry interesting" self, he had his head down and refused to talk to anyone or do his work. Being the Super Teacher Sleuth that I am, I remembered that Arte was dating a student in one of my earlier classes and resolved to talk to her in the morning.

Me: Hey, Alphabet Soup, do you know what was wrong with Arte yesterday?

Alphabet Soup: Nope, no idea.

Me: Nothing at all? Because he seemed miserable in class.

Alphabet Soup: How should I know? I dumped him yesterday.