Quote of the Day - February 18, 2011

Super Student: I'm calling your classroom the "Sex Room". I know we can't do any of that stuff in here, but, you know, we're always talking about animals mating.

Quote of the Day - February 16, 2011

Little Miss Negative: I'm gonna become the best forensic scientist ever, you hear me?

Speaks Louder Than Jet Engine: No.

Little Miss Negative: I'M GONNA BECOME THE BEST FORENSIC SCIENTIST EVER. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Quote of the Day - February 9, 2011

Me: Because of the recent craze in eating shark fins, sharks are in danger of going extinct.

Puerto Rican Girl writes "exting" on her paper.

Me: (Quietly) "Extinct" is actually spelled e-x-t-i-n-c-t.

Puerto Rican Girl: This isn't English class.

Quote of the Day - February 1, 2011

Decibals: Miss, how much did you pay for your phone?

Me: Um, I don't really remember.

Decibals: Okay, cuz I don't wanna spend more than $350 on my new phone. Maybe a little more if I have to.

Quote of the Day - January 26, 2011

Obnoxious Mommy: Miss, I can't believe you called my mom last night. I'm ready to, like, curse you out.

A+ Student: Can you call my mom, and tell her I got a 102% this marking period?

Me: Sure.

Obnoxious Mommy: Can you call my mom to tell her I'm doing a good job?

Me: No.

Quote of the Day - January 25, 2011

Me: Hey, Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine, why didn't you come to school yesterday?

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: I went shopping!!

Me: So you cut school to go shopping?

Jet Engine: Yup, with my boyfriend and my son. It be so poppin'.

Me: What did your mom say? How come she didn't make you go to school?

Jet Engine: She can't make me do anything. I pushed a baby out of me, so I can make my own decisions.

Quote of the Day - January 24, 2011

Me: I'm really excited about my birthday later this week!

Actually Fascinated By the Environment: Is anyone gonna give you a birthday present?

Pretends to Be Illiterate: Is anyone gonna give you a birthday suit?

Quote of the Day - January 18, 2011

Decibals and Knows Everything were talking while I was trying to teach. Really loudly. Again.

Me: Okay, I need you guys to move. I've had enough of the talking. Move.

Decibals: No, I ain't gonna move. We too lazy for that.

Me: (suspiciously) Who's we?

Decibals: Me and the baby inside me.

Quote of the Day - January 13, 2010

Crazy Neckties: I wanna vacation at a nude beach... so I get a full-body tan.

Quote of the Day - January 11, 2011

Super Student: Miss, are we watching March of the Penguins today? That's, like, my favorite movie right now.

Quote of the Day - January 10, 2011

Mostly Magnetic: Miss, why don't you have a boyfriend? I can hook you up with my cousin. Then you could come to family barbecues and stuff.

Quote of the Day - January 7, 2011

Miss Mommy: Miss, why don't you have kids yet? Aren't getting a little old? I mean, I had my son when I was sixteen.

Quote of the Day - January 5, 2011

Decibals: Yeah, I love visiting my boyfriend in jail. He so sexy.

Quote of the Day - January 4, 2011

Several of my students were cursing quite loudly at the beginning of fourth period yesterday.

Me: Guys, can you stop talking like animals?

Alphabet Soup: Animals don't talk. OH, YOU JUST GOT PLAYED!

Quote of the Day - December 15, 2010

Me: In the temperate rain forest, tall trees, like the Pacific redwood, can maximize the amount of sunlight they take in.

Super Student: I try to maximize the number of girls I get.

Quote of the Day - December 9, 2010

On Planet Earth: Jungles...

Actually Fascinated by the Environment: Miss, why are you showing us frog porn?

Quote of the Day - December 8, 2010

At the beginning of 6th period, I set my iTunes to shuffle, and "A Circle of Life" from The Lion King began playing.

Very Tough Exterior: Yo, this is my sh*t! Turn it up!

Quote of the Day - December 3, 2010

Puerto Rican Girl: You racist, Miss. You don't like me 'cause I'm from Nicaragua.

English Snafu of the Day - December 1, 2010

Yesterday, we learned about ecological succession in Environmental Science. Today, my students completed an activity in which they compared photos of four different ponds at different stages of succession.

I glanced at Adorable Terror's papers and saw this:

"What will happen to the black bass and blue gill as the floor of the pond fills with organic debris?

Everybody in bein dyin."

Quote of the Day - November 24, 2010

Little Miss Negative: I'm trying to be a forensic scientist, and you're getting in the way.