Adventures on Gchat: December 26, 2009, 10:59pm

10:59 PM Adorable But Slightly Sketchy Student: hey miss wassup

me: hi there

11:01 PM ABSSS: wat u got 4 crismas miss

11:06 PM

me: a few books

a pocket knife

and a gift certificate to best buy

and you?

11:07 PM ABSSS: hmm a new girl lol hmm money

me: a new girl?

haha

from school?

11:11 PM ABSSS: hell no lol i dont like 2 date girls from school bcuz dan ppls star talking and i like 2 kip my besnas 2 my self i dont like 4 ppl 2 know wat i do

11:13 PM me: i see

so where do you meet the girls you date?

11:17 PM ABSSS: myspace an on the streets lol


Oh goodness.

Stars in My Eyes

Wow. I made it to winter break! I did it! Yippee!!!!

My words of wisdom for the holidays and every day thereafter:

See the stars in each changing moment and dance among them, shining.

So Close

I love my seniors. So much. They were sweet and well-behaved today, as always. Three of them later emailed me to inform me in advance that they wouldn't be in school tomorrow (I mean, I'd rather they come to school, but hey! at least they're being responsible) AND to wish me a great holiday break. My heart was full to bursting.

My 6th period class, on the other hand, was horrible. Obnoxious. Disrespectful. All I needed them to do was to stay quiet while they finished their benchmark exams. Nope, that was impossible. They just yelled and cursed me out. Typical.

Hard to Beat

So far, three students have emailed me or gchatted with me to see how my snowy weekend has been. (Another student called last night to ask about extra credit, having no idea that school was cancelled today.) So they either really like me, or they really want A's.

Number Crunching

I have 124 students enrolled in my five classes. 34 of them are passing. That's 27.4%. Nice.

Of the 34 students who are passing, 10 have D's, 8 have C's, 7 have B's, and 9 have A's. At least my grades are somewhat evenly distributed.

Of the 90 students who are failing, 55 have grades below 45%. 26 have grades below 10%. Wow.

Good job, Ms. Cyanococcus.

Arrghh! on a Thursday

Venting time:

I HATE when I ask chatty students to stop talking and they don't even acknowledge me, continuing to talk as though I had said nothing. It's bothering me even more than yesterday.

It gets better when the same students then call out to ask me a question and are pissed off when I don't respond to them right away.

Oh my gosh!! I know you want attention, but you are 15 years old and in 10th grade! Exercise some self-control!

How to Measure the Quality of Code

This has nothing to do with teaching, but it's hilarious:

from OS News (via Engineering and Careering)

Help Wanted!

• What do you do about kids who act all nice to you, but then, when you ask them to stop having a loud conversation in the middle of class, they ignore you and keep talking as though you had said nothing at all?
• I helped my environmental kids set up gmail addresses. In most cases, this has been a really awesome endeavor... I love seeing my kids show up in my gchat window, because it means they're really using gmail! However, some of my guys took this as an opportunity to pester me with messages like "yo miss what up you look nice" and "miss wat u doing tonight?" Any thoughts on how to handle that?

In other news, 5 more school days until winter break! My poor kids need it so badly... And I finally figured out how to compute arrays on Excel (thanks entirely to Tim)! Woohoo!

Friday, I'm in Love

... with student achievement.



Well, I gave my 10th graders a test on cells today! We spent six weeks on the unit. They've known about the test for 2 weeks. They knew exactly what to study; I even gave them a study guide to complete and bribed them with extra credit if they actually did it. They should have been totally prepared to ace the test, right?

Not exactly. Most of my kids took one look at the test and immediately decided they were going to fail, so why bother trying? And the talking was out of control. In 6th period, they finally blew up at me for trying to keep the talking to a minimum. I was told eight times to go f*** myself, and heard six times that i was retarded. One kid even said, "Don't even bother talking to Miss, she's mentally retarded." Another girl said she would try to get me fired for telling her to be quiet and singling her out (which wasn't the case). Whew. So much for student achievement. We're going to have to work on the attitudes first.

New Perspective

Breaking News: Period 7 Bio was under control today! We even finished 5 minutes early -- something that has never happened before, thanks to the absurd amount of time I spend each day trying to get them to quiet down.

So what was it?! Did swine flu strike? Was it the plague? A natural disaster? Did my students finally come to understand the meaning of the achievement gap? Well... no. My two most disruptive students showed up to class and promptly decided to go back to sleep. They put their heads down and snoozed quietly for the duration of the class.

Several months ago, when I was much more gung ho about all children realizing their full potential blah blah blah, I would have spent the entire period trying to wake those two girls up. Today, I was delighted that they both chose to go to sleep. What has happened to me?

I guess I am beginning to let go, just a little bit, of the lofty goals with which I started teaching. When disruptive kids have their heads down, 100% of students are not learning. But when disruptive kids have their heads down, I think the remaining students are learning 100% better. I found today that the rest of my students were more focused, more engaged, and more inquisitive. The talking didn't stop -- it never does -- but much more was conducted at a whisper. Students were more likely to stop talking when I asked them to, rather than follow the usual example of Miss Disruptive and Miss More Disruptive and blatantly ignore my requests.

So here I am. Somewhat giving up on student achievement. Three months in and on the downhill slope toward disillusionment. Or maybe this is a good thing? I just don't know yet.

Almond Cheesecake Apple Bars

Today's recipe!

Ingredients
For the crust and topping:
13/4 cups plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp table salt
2 oz (4 tbsp) unsalted butter, well softened
2 oz (4 tbsp) cream cheese, well softened
1/4 tsp pure almond extract
1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp granulated sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp firmly packed light brown sugar
3 oz (3/4 cup) slivered almonds, coarsely chopped

For the filling:
4 oz (8 tbsp) cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
2 tsp freshly grated lemon zest
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
a pinch of table salt
1 lb (about 2 medium) Braeburn, Gala, or Roma apples, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/8 inch-thick slices (to yield 21/2 cups)

Bake
Heat the oven to 350 degrees F. Cut a piece of parchment into a 9x14-inch rectangle. Line a 9 inch-square baking pan with the parchment (it will extend beyond the pan). Butter the parchment and the unlined sides of the pan.

Make the crust and topping:
1. Set aside 2 tbsp of the flour in a small dish. Whisk together the remaining 11/4 cups flour and the salt in a small bowl. In a large bowl, beat the butter with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Add the cream cheese and almond extract and beat on medium until smooth, scraping the bowl as needed, about 1 minute. Add 1/4 cup each of the granulated and brown sugars and beat on medium speed until blended, scraping as needed. Add the flour-salt mixture and 1/3 cup of the almonds and beat on medium low just until the flour is absorbed and the mixture starts to come together in clumps.
2. Set aside 2/3 cup of the dough in another bowl and press the remaining dough into the prepared pan in a thin but even layer. Prick it all over with a fork. Bake until the crust is golden, especially around the edges, 18 to 20 minutes. Remove from the oven, but keep the oven on.
3. While the crust bakes, add the 2 tbsp reserved flour and the remaining 2 tsp each of the granulated and brown sugars to the reserved dough. Mix with your fingertips until well combined and then squeeze the dough together into one clump.

Make the filling:
1. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Add the sugar and beat on medium until completed, scraping the bowl as needed. Add the egg and beat until combined, scraping the bowl as needed. Beat in the lemon zest, lemon juice, and salt.
2. Spread the apple slices evenly on the bottom crust and pour the cream cheese filling on top, gently spreading it with a rubber spatula to cover the apples. Crumble the remaining dough on top. The pieces can be fairly large, about the size of a cherry, and the topping needn't be completely cover the filling. Sprinkle with the remaining almonds. Bake until the topping and almonds are light golden brown, 45 to 50 minutes. Let the bars cool in the pan until warm, about 30 minutes. Remove from the pan using the parchment sling and set on a wire rack to cool completely. Transfer the bars, still on the parchment, to a cutting board. Slide a long metal spatula between the bars and parchment to separate them, and slide the parchment out. Cut into 16 bars.

The bars came out super delicious!

Note to the co-founder of PLOC and the entire ELSD: I will bake for you soon, I promise!

Heaven

I love hugs. Some days, I really need to receive them. Some days, I want nothing more than to give them. Most of time, though, I'm not fulfilled unless I can do both. Little can compare to the cheer, empathy, and love that is shared through a hug.

I Need a Life

It's nearly 2 AM on a Saturday night, and I'm lesson planning. Oh man. My kids ought to love me so much more than they do.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of Week!

I now understand the true meaning of Friday: peace, relaxation, the absence of the word "Miss" shouted across the room 74 times a day, true friendship, genuine laughter...

In actuality, I did have a good day at school today. Environmental science went well, as always. I love how I can joke around with them and seize teachable moments, knowing that they are mature and will remain attentive and engaged. In environmental, some of my most open, inquisitive minds do not perform well academically, but they never fail to actively contribute to class discussions. It's really wonderful.

My 6th period class was a bit out of control, but, for the first time in about a month, my 7th period class was quiet and focused! I was blown away! Furthermore, nearly the entire class gradually became engaged in the guided practice. 'Twas the stuff teachers dream about.

On the downside, their algebra skills are nonexistent. I asked an algebra teacher about this today, and she shrugged. Oh, the joys of system-wide failure!

Happy Friday!! :)

Seriously?

My 10th graders cannot calculate percent change. As in, they have no clue how. They also cannot follow a formula.

Wow.

Candles and Color

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"



Also, A Mad Russian's Christmas never fails to cheer me up.

Making Sure They Are Safe and Sound

Why do I feel this way about most of my students? And how long until the enthusiasm wears off, until I become yet another disillusioned teacher? Argghhh.

>>Even though I'll never need her,
even though she's only giving me pain,
I'll be on my knees to feed her,
spend a day to make her smile again<<
from "Winning the Battle, Losing the War" by Kings of Convenience -- what an apt title!

(Yes, this is in response to grading assignments and seeing class averages drop from the 50s to the 20s.)

You May Case the Grounds From the Cascades to Puget Sound

According the the Bureau of Justice, 2.4% of Hispanic children and 6.7% of black children had a parent in prison in 2008. I hadn't really thought about having incarcerated parents until I saw this graph today, and I feel a little negligent for not being more mindful of this issue. It scares me, for it is just another item among the litany of factors that plague my students and undermine their potential to succeed.

And yet, I wish I hadn't seen the data. I've never experienced anything like this; I can only empathize. And the thought of having an incarcerated parent is so profoundly sad to me, but it is another thing I cannot change. I am starting to feel like an opaque window to an increasingly bleak future.

from the Bureau of Justice (via Chris Uggen)

To Give and To Receive

Having just finished my first Thanksgiving weekend as a teacher, I am confident I appreciate this holiday more than ever before. I loved being able to wake up late, relax, and reflect. I loved seeing friends who aren't teachers and remembering that I belong to a larger world. My only complaint is that four days is not long enough; it was little more than a teaser. I would love a snow day tomorrow, but, oh wait -- It's 56 degrees in Philadelphia right now. Mother Nature may have forgotten about winter this year...

Some final thoughts:

• I love Thanksgiving. I love that a day dedicated to gratitude is integral to American life. But we should not save our thanks for one day; rather, we should effuse appreciation every day of every week. We are surrounded by so many people who help us, who lift us up, who share with us random acts of kindness. In our every action, we must give thanks -- and pass it on.

• I miss my kids. Yes, it was great to get a break from hearing "Miss!!!!" yelled across the classroom and having to divide my attention twenty different ways and dealing with students who curse at me for no reason at all. But in three months, I have come to care about my kids beyond reason. I look forward to seeing their talkative, scowling, shining faces tomorrow.
  

Some Moments Last For a While

Do Now: In what part of Philadelphia are you most comfortable?

One (brilliant, amazing) student's response: The ghetto. I was raised in the ghetto my entire life. I was never taken to a quiet place. I have always lived around drugs and drug dealers, and I don't know anything else.

How do I respond to that?

This Thanksgiving

I am thankful for...

• My friends
• Clementines
• Anjou and Bartlett pears
• Frozen berries
  
• New Jersey
• Autumn leaves
• Evergreens
  
• Spinach
• Nonverbal communication
• Waking up in the morning
• Awesome students who make it worth it to wake up in the morning
• Trust
  
• Wonderful college memories
  
• Reports of fun at Brown EMS
• Intellectual curiosity
  
• Students who start their work quietly
  
• Sunny days
  
• Hugs
• Students who ask for help when they are confused
• 1776
  
• Parents who glow with pride when you tell them their kid is amazing
  
• Meaningful song lyrics
• Smiling for no reason at all
  
• Friends who listen
• Listening to friends
• Knowledge, more knowledge, and understanding
  
• Students who tell me I'm doing a good job
• Coworkers who tell me I'm doing a good job
• Actually feeling like I'm doing a good job
• The New York Yankees
  
• Chocolate chip cookies
• Cupcakes
  
• Those coworkers who have offered me their shoulders to stand on
• Long walks
• Holiday cheer
• Hope and idealism
  
• My two adorable dogs
  
• My family

What are you thankful for?

Thanks For Stopping By. Please Come Again Soon!

Today, we had a half day of instruction and parent-teacher conferences in the afternoon. I had my hopes up, ready to share with parents my amazing pedagogical strategies and give detailed analyses of each student's performance in my class.

Two parents showed up.

In other news, my school has a Christmas tree in the main office. They clearly did not get the memo about Christmas creep.

...Off to bake chocolate chip cookies!

O Christmas Creep!

I hate Christmas creep so much. Thank you, Nordstrom!

Still Fighting It...

It's Sunday morning, the sun is shining brightly in Philadelphia, and the time is high for a cup of tea and reflection.

I capped off my week on Friday with two encounters that have lasted through this moment. One was rather depressing, and one was rather uplifting. I hope the latter is what is on my mind when I wake up for work tomorrow morning.

1. As seventh period neared a close, I assigned my students independent classwork. I was pleased to see that most of my students were following directions and quietly working. However, Graptolite, who had been moderately well-behaved throughout the period, was not working but instead talking loudly with a friend. I approached Graptlolite and his friend and asked them to return to their work. Graptolite yelled, "Get away from me!" Ummm, okay. Determined not to get into a power struggle, I asked Graptolite once more to do his work, and I walked away. When the bell rang, Graptolite asked me to sign his "daily report," a form for students with a history of problems (truancy, behavior, etc) that teachers must sign each period. I checked off "incomplete" for classwork since, of course, he had not worked on classwork all period as he was supposed to.

Well, Graptolite saw what I had done and chose to flip out. "F*** you, miss!" "You're so f***ing stupid!" "You're such a dummy!" "F*** you, dummy!" He continued to yell those phrases, stuck on repeat, as I first tried to reason with him and then demanded that he leave the room. He did not and continued to yell. Finally, another teacher who had observed the commotion walked over to him, got in his face, and successfully ordered him to leave.

I am sadly accustomed to kids cursing at me, but the barrage of insults and profanity was a little too much to take. I reported the incident to a dean of discipline, who arranged a parent conference for next week and advised me to document the incident on a pink slip. I did as she asked. But I hate writing pink slips. I hate the possibility of getting good kids in trouble. I hate the reality that no steps will actually be taken to solve the problem. And I hate feeling this way on a Friday.

2. From the very beginning, I recognized Rotifer as a great kid who got discouraged very easily. He tended to deal with his discouragement by unleashing a wicked attitude. Needless to say, first marking period became a cycle of bad grades and bad behavior. He ended the marking period with a 35% average in my class.

Over the last three weeks, though, I've noticed a major change. He is participating in class more readily and smiling when he answers questions correctly. He and his best friend used to talk constantly and not seem to care that they were disrupting the class. They would fix me with dark glares as I taught. Now, they are almost always quiet and attentive; when they do talk, they are soft and nearly always trying to help each other out with what we are learning.

I called his parents on Friday night to tell them how proud I am of him. They were very pleased to get a good report from a teacher, something I gather is unusual for them. At the end of our conversation, they asked me if I wanted to speak to Rotifer. I said yes, and Rotifer appeared on the other end of the line.

Our conversation blossomed. I told him not to be discouraged so easily, that mistakes are a necessary part of life. I told him that I understood how hard it is to be a teenager, that I've unfortunately been there, and that should he want to talk about anything with me, I'm always ready to listen. I told him that I care about him, that he is an amazing guy, that I believe he can succeed beyond his own hopes and dreams. I told him I will call his house and say those things to him every night if he wants. At this last part, Rotifer became audibly choked up. "Nobody except my aunt has ever said anything like that to me," he confessed. "It means so much. Thank you...."

Eureka!

Shifting the blame is socially contagious.

That must explain why TOB (transfer of blame) is the number one pastime of educators. Good to know.

Little Martha Stewart

So I bake for the science department in my high school every week, and I figure I may as well start posting my recipes.

This week's treat: Pumpkin and Cornmeal Cake with Orange Syrup

Ingredients:
For the cake -
8 oz (1 cup) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tbs. finely grated orange zest
1 large egg
2 large eggs, separated
8 oz (1 cup) canned pure solid-pack pumpkin
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1.5 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. table salt
1/2 cup fine-ground yellow cornmeal
sifted confectioners' sugar for garnish

For the syrup and for serving -
1/2 cup fresh orange juice
1/2 granulated sugar
vanilla yogurt or vanilla ice cream (optional)

Make the cake
1. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and heat the oven to 350 F.
2. Butter a 9-inch Bundt pan.
3. With a hand mixer or a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter, sugar, and orange zest until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
4. One at a time, add the egg and egg yolks (remember to reserve the whites), beating well and scraping down the sides of the bowl between each addition.
5. Beat in the pumpkin and vanilla.
6. Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt; stir in the cornmeal. Add this mixture to the pumpkin batter in three stages, stirring gently but thoroughly with a rubber spatula after each addition; don't overwork the batter.
7. In a clean bowl with a very clean whisk or a hand mixer, whip the reserved egg whites until they hold soft peaks. Gently fold the whites into the batter with the spatula until you no longer see streaks of white.
8. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan; smooth the surface.
9. Bake until the top of the cake is springy when lightly touched, the sides are beginning to pull away from the pan, and a wooden skewer inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean, 40 to 50 minutes.
10. Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes and then invert the cake onto a wire rack to cool completely. Dust the cake with sifted confectioners' sugar.

Make the syrup
1. In a small saucepan over low heat, combine the orange juice and sugar, stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Increase the heat to medium high. Boil without stirring for 2 minutes.
2. Serve each slice of cake drizzled with syrup and, if you like, accompanied by a scoop of vanilla yogurt or vanilla ice cream.

Enjoy!!

Thoughts on a Friday Morning

I gave my environmental class a quiz on Wednesday. We had spent the past two and a half weeks studying the principles of ecology, and I figured the time was ripe for some kind of assessment. Now, I announced the quiz a week in advance and reminded my students every day thereafter, so there was no excuse for not knowing about it. The day before the quiz, we played a closed-note Jeopardy review game that covered every single concept to be assessed on the quiz. In a perfect world, my kids would have come in on Wednesday prepared to ace the quiz.

I've spent enough time teaching at my school to know that we are far from perfect, yet it stings every single day. My first period class averaged a 42% on the quiz. My second period class averaged a 37%. What now?! Did I teach them? Where were they the past two and a half weeks? Was anyone listening?

My daily theme song invokes my favorite movie:
>>Is anybody there?
Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?<<

The last question on the quiz asked them to reconcile their views on religion with those on evolution. This was a topic I emphasized heavily in class, and about which we spent much time discussing. There was no right or wrong answer -- I just wanted them to write, and I gave points to pretty much any coherent response that met my length requirement. Needless to say, about half of my kids didn't even attempt to answer the question. So I'm wondering what on earth I'm doing here. How can I motivate my students to study? How can I motivate my students to even write a response to a question? Which brings me to the next question -- Why are seniors in high school (yes, environmental science is a course for seniors) unable to write a response to a question such that I have to motivate them?

Where can I find this answers?

One girl in my class wrote the following response to the evolution question: "Ms I realy want to have good Grande in this class but I don't now that much Ingle and sciences is very difecult for me. I do alot of thing to pass this class. I don't now what to do. I just oging to do my's Do Now and Exit Slip and Project to pass this class with C or D."

She's a sweet girl, her attendance is excellent, and she has a good attitude. So I really want her to pass the class. But when did my expectations become so low that I feel a girl with simply a good attitude and good attendance deserves to pass?

How Am I Feeling Today?

Ehhh... I'm going to go with nihilist. More thoughts later.

I Should Have Been an English Teacher

For all of my fellow grammar hounds out there, here is an amazing graphic that explains when to use an apostrophe correctly.

Show it to your students. Show it to your friends. Show it to your families. Change the world!

Mental Evolution

After a whole week of teaching evolution, I gave my students the following prompt as a Do Now:

Explain three things you've learned about evolution.

One kid's response:

1. I am human
2. evolution
3. wild cat to fish

Nice. Glad to know I'm an effective teacher.

All About Objectives

"Discontent is the first necessity of progress." - Thomas A. Edison

Welcome! I am a first-year high school teacher in inner city Philadelphia. When I starting teaching ten weeks ago, I scoured the internet for blogs/resources/anything for first-year teachers, anything that would provide me with hope and emotional support. I found practically nothing. So I am writing this blog to help out other first-year teachers, to share my experiences with my friends and family, and to give myself some cathartic relief. Indeed, I wish I could say that the first ten weeks of teaching have been marvelous, but I think I would be more apt to describe them as a magnificent blunder.

My experience with veteran teachers has been that most selectively forget the challenges of their first year. I would like to record my thoughts and observations before despondence forces these memories out of me, as well. Yet, at this point, I am still hopeful. I maintain that I love my job. I love my kids. I know I can make this a good year.

If you have any comments, suggestions, ideas, or inspiration for me, please share! I will try to update this blog as much as possible. Be prepared for some raw emotion, lesson plans, love, cynicism, and blueberries.