The Royal We?

Decibals: Oh, I ain't moving today. We be too lazy.

Oh, So It's My Fault

Me: Knows Everything, I need you to be quiet.

(30 seconds later)

Me: Knows Everything, stop talking!

Knows Everything: No, I'm ain't gonna stop talking! You stop talking.

Me: Okay, but you're failing, so what you're doing right now isn't working. Maybe you should stop talking and see if your grades improve.

Knows Everything: You're the teacher, so it's your fault if I fail. You be doin' a bad job. (as a second thought) F*** science.

FOUND: Genuine Gibberish, on Facebook, Part II

A follow-up to this neo-Beowolf text:

Obnoxious Mommy: His ex bish tht use to kall em her bby dad

Some Dude: ‎@Obnoxious Mommy shyt real

@Tweety yea I saw dat pic she got of da ultra sound I'm like wth is dat it looks like an Alien Baby E.T

Phone Addict : yeaaah iSaw it too . She looks likeee ah Old ass woman likee fall fake Old bxtch . LOl

Phone Addict: Baqk* not fake

Some Dude: Lol people crazy now in days

Phone Addict: fOrreal fOrreal lOl ; dhey corney ashxt .

Some Dude: Lol well when ever she ready to come out from hiding let her talk shyt cause apparently she aint Ready for da Phone Addict's and Obnoxious Mommy lol

Phone Addict: lOl yeaah she can talk all dhaa shxt she want . Cusx dhaa Phone Addict's & Obnoxious Mommy dont talk shxt ; jusx State dhaa facts . We call it how we see it . LOl

Some Dude: But u no most of da tweakers dnt get da picture unless da flash is on hahah

Phone Addict: Cdfuu . yu would b dhaa Onee too say somethinq likee dhat . LOl

Some Dude: Lol Ya mean I'm dat Boul hahah I'm kinda crazy lol in a good way it sounds hot though

Phone Addict: Ohkaeee rapper cdfuu . Goo ahead spit somethinqqq

Some Dude: Aight I got u... Yo um Check dis or Get Dis Like a Bad Disease u no Da Spice Gurls aint Nothing To Mess wit living da Vida Loca got these Tweakers haiting on them cause They Young Bad and Reckless lol

Phone Addict: Woohoo ' lmboo yeaah . I'm not ah rapper , soo idk waat too say lOl

Some Dude: Lol its ok u can be in my music video u can look all cute in da back lol hahah

Phone Addict: lOl Okaee dhat'll wOrk yu & nat can b dha rapper & I b dhaa dancer . Lmboo .

Some Dude: Lol aight bet ur heard Nat Rap she be killing it but I'm just betta lol

Phone Addict: ‎, yeaah iHeard it . It wusx niceee . Ohh manee yah need to teach mhee somethinqq lOl .

Some Dude: lol hahah we got u we gonna go buy some Cheesteaks and we gonna teach u how to Rap

Phone Addict: ‎#Let'sGooo !

Speacially w|: dhem CheeseSteaks lmboo .

Jk jk ; buh Okaee cusx ii wanna b ah Rapper too lOl

Some Dude: Lol aight our Rap Team gonna be tuff hahh I got u

Thank you for visiting Facebook, and come again soon!

Quote of the Day - January 26, 2011

Obnoxious Mommy: Miss, I can't believe you called my mom last night. I'm ready to, like, curse you out.

A+ Student: Can you call my mom, and tell her I got a 102% this marking period?

Me: Sure.

Obnoxious Mommy: Can you call my mom to tell her I'm doing a good job?

Me: No.

Snow Day!

There was snow on the ground when I woke up yesterday. Snow blew through the air as I drove to work. After last year's 7 snow days, the School District is understandably reluctant to cancel school for snow, and so school opened at 8am, as usual.

Given the wintry conditions, I was surprised that one-third of our students showed up to school. (More students might have come, but rumors were surfacing on Facebook that there was a two-hour delay.) But the storm continued to rage, and we learned at 10:30am that school would close at 12 noon.

Students felt the announcement obviated the need to learn. So I gave up when 5 students showed up to 5th period. I put on Planet Earth. (My students completely ignored the film. They posted status updates on Facebook instead.)

Today, there is a foot of snow on the ground. I would love to teach, but, hey, I'm not complaining about a snow day.

That's What Henry VIII Thought...

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: Miss, Imma get pregnant again. I really wanna girl. Baby girls are sooooo cute.

Me: What if it's not a girl?

Jet Engine: Oh, it will be. That's what I want.

Quote of the Day - January 25, 2011

Me: Hey, Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine, why didn't you come to school yesterday?

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: I went shopping!!

Me: So you cut school to go shopping?

Jet Engine: Yup, with my boyfriend and my son. It be so poppin'.

Me: What did your mom say? How come she didn't make you go to school?

Jet Engine: She can't make me do anything. I pushed a baby out of me, so I can make my own decisions.