Mail Ail

I gave my forensic science kids a 2-minute murder mystery to solve. The clue was that the murder took place on a Sunday, and the murderer was a maid, whose alibi was that she was out fetching the mail.

I tried to guide a group of students to the solution.

Loves Candy: Well, my mail comes on Sundays. I live in the ghetto.... I guess the ghetto mailman brings it on Sundays.

The Botany of Teenage Priorities

Little Drummer Boy: Miss, can you teach a lesson on marijuana?

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Mostly Magnetic: Miss, did you know marijuana is spelled with a j?

On the Subject of Corduroy Pants

Actually Fascinated By the Environment: Miss, why do your pants feel like a car seat?

I Don't Even Know What This Means

Aspires to Be a Hairdresser: (to a classmate) I can't never be pasty, ho.

Things That Make Me Nostalgic

Sadly, Rappin' Hairdo was switched out of my class. We have become great friends in the few weeks since.

I saw him today in the hallway...

Rappin' Hairdo: I miss your class so much. Your class just be so poppin', and I learned so much about ecology and jawns like that.

Quote of the Day - December 15, 2010

Me: In the temperate rain forest, tall trees, like the Pacific redwood, can maximize the amount of sunlight they take in.

Super Student: I try to maximize the number of girls I get.

Back to Those Friday Blues

Several weeks ago, Decibels shoved me when I challenged her consistent lateness to class. I followed up on her case several days ago. It turns out that nothing was done. Even though she assaulted a teacher, the administrator to whom I referred her scolded her briefly and then allowed her to return to her classes. There was no detention, no suspension, no counseling, no conference with a parent. She attended my class the next day, and every day thereafter, her attitude problem unsolved.

On another note, we just had a faculty meeting during which our principal proudly told us that our school has had zero "dangerous incidents" this school year. Well, numbers stay low when you don't report anything.

Quote of the Day - December 9, 2010

On Planet Earth: Jungles...

Actually Fascinated by the Environment: Miss, why are you showing us frog porn?

Quote of the Day - December 8, 2010

At the beginning of 6th period, I set my iTunes to shuffle, and "A Circle of Life" from The Lion King began playing.

Very Tough Exterior: Yo, this is my sh*t! Turn it up!

Bad Romance

Speaking of Alphabet Soup, she and Arte Johnson got back together and then had (another) massive break-up. I spotted Arte walking around with band-aids over the upper left-hand side of his coat. :(

CSI Moment of the Day - December 7, 2010

Yesterday in Forensic Science, we examined hair under the microscope, in order to support our current unit on hair analysis. Much to my surprise, my students got really into the "lab." Some were REALLY into it...

Alphabet Soup: Next time, can we look at sperm under the microscope?

Me: Um, that sounds great, but I don't think we can get sperm samples here at school.

Alphabet Soup: That's just a detail.

Quote of the Day - December 3, 2010

Puerto Rican Girl: You racist, Miss. You don't like me 'cause I'm from Nicaragua.

Biology Problem of the Day - November 2, 2010

Yesterday, we played review Trashketball for today's test on community ecology. One of my review questions was "What is symbiosis?"

A+ Student wrote down, "the study of symbols."

English Snafu of the Day - December 1, 2010

Yesterday, we learned about ecological succession in Environmental Science. Today, my students completed an activity in which they compared photos of four different ponds at different stages of succession.

I glanced at Adorable Terror's papers and saw this:

"What will happen to the black bass and blue gill as the floor of the pond fills with organic debris?

Everybody in bein dyin."

Half Day Blues

At the conclusion of the first marking period, my school district holds report card conferences for parents. Students have a half day of school, and parents are invited to meet with teachers at school between 1pm and 3pm. Conferences took place yesterday afternoon and will continue today. My students' parents are so involved that yesterday, I met with a grand total of.........

ZERO parents.

I'm hoping for better luck today.