Quote of the Day - November 24, 2010

Little Miss Negative: I'm trying to be a forensic scientist, and you're getting in the way.

More Music Surprises

Argh, I promised more posts, but I didn't deliver. Sorry about that.

Anyhow, after the Abbey Road comment, I received this request:

Fun Frosh: Miss, um, can you play more Journey and Bon Jovi? I... uh... well, it helps me focus.

HTTA

Happy Thanksgiving!

More posts to come later today. :)

Quote of the Day - November 23, 2010

Little Miss Negative: Miss, I'm tired of this hip-hop BS. Can you play Abbey Road?

Junior Class Elections, Part Two

Elections were held during advisory (homeroom) on Friday. As I posted here, the candidates had a chance to give their speeches to the class in an assembly on Thursday. As a result, nearly every junior should have recognized the names on the ballot.

Really Nice Girl: I already voted, did you?

Really Not Nice Girl: I'm not f***ing voting.

Really Nice Girl: Oh you should, the class officers are going to plan prom and stuff.

Really Not Nice Girl: Well, I don't f***ing know anyone who's running.

Really Nice Girl: Oh. Didn't you go to that assembly yesterday?

Really Not Nice Girl: No, I cut. F*** this... where are the black kids? I'll vote for them.

Quote of the Day - November 22, 2010

I bought a wreath with skulls on it for my classroom -- appropriate for Forensic Science, I figured...

Little Miss Negative: That looks like something Julius Caesar wore on his head.

Junior Class Elections, Part One

Several weeks ago, I applied for the position of junior class advisor. (Since I was the only applicant,) I got the job. Naturally, my first task was to hold elections.

The candidates wrote letters of intent to me and posted their glossy flyers around the school. Then, on Thursday, it was time for... speeches!!

Most of the candidates said standard things about honesty and prom and making 2012 the best class ever. Then it was the (uncontested) candidate for treasurer's turn.

G Is for Gangsta/Genius: You can always call me or text me or even hit me up on the book.

While I'm Lecturing About Food Webs...

Female Student #1: What chew doin' tomorrow?

Female Student #2: Buyin' new clothes for my son.

Female Student #1: Ohhhh that reminds me, I hafta buy new clothes for my son also.

Female Student #3: Oh, I get all my daughter's clothes from my older sister.

Female Student #2: Hey Miss, you got a kid?

Quote of the Day - November 18, 2010

In the middle of Forensic Science, a commotion somehow starts. (I guess identifying ridge characteristics on their fingerprints wasn't interesting enough for them?) Aove the din, I hear Breadsticks' voice.

Breadsticks: YOU JUST BETTER BE A CONDOM!

Hair Color

Loves Candy: Miss, Miss, I'm gonna dye my hair this weekend.

Me: Oh, cool! What color?

Loves Candy: Oh, dark.

Me: Cool, dark brown? Dark blonde?

Loves Candy: Just dark.

Forgotten Field Trip Funny

Our tour guide pointed out a few hawks soaring above us.

Mostly Magnetic: It's a bird!

Directionally Challenged: It's a plane!

Rappin' Hairdo: No, it's Super Me!

Quote of the Day - November 15, 2010

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: Miss, you need to start doin' some stuff, if ya know what I mean.

Me: Um, can you finish identifying those fingerprint patterns?

Jen Engine: No, I'm serious. That's all boys want. Except for when a boy, like, really, really loves you. But there aren't a lot of boys like that.

Friday Blues, Part 2

School was closed yesterday for Veterans Day, meaning teachers and students had a long-awaited day off.

I came to school today feeling refreshed and excited to teach!

But when I walked into my room, I noticed immediately that... I HAD BEEN ROBBED!!

Someone had snuck into my room (and several adjoining rooms) between Wednesday afternoon and this morning. From my belongings, the thieves stole my speakers, the power cord for my projector, and the VGA adapter for my projector. Fortunately, I had locked up the projector itself before I left the building on Wednesday. Thank goodness.

I filed a police report right away. I remained calm, but my students were outraged. Several of them exclaimed, "Miss, this is so unfair. How are we going to learn?"

I've replaced all of my missing supplies at this point. But, wow, what an unpleasant surprise.

Friday Blues, Part 1

Decibals walked into my room 6 minutes late, as usual. Today, however, she was completely out of uniform. Instead of wearing the required white collared shirt and khaki pants, she showed up in blue jeans and a red shirt. I was in a strict mood, so I told her to go get a late pass and return in uniform. She was wearing khaki pants when she returned, but she lacked a pass. I told her, once again, to retrieve a late pass. She walked into the room anyway.

I blocked her entry. She shoved me out of the way with her arms. As she forced her way in, she told me to "get out of my f***ing way." As I began to admonish her, she said, "Don't you f***ing talk to me."

Well, that was that. I allowed her to sit down, but I immediately called the school police. Decibals was removed from my class in short time.

I generally don't have those sorts of problems. I expect my students to treat me respectfully and kindly, and they generally do. Even my most obnoxious students do not curse at me. And I have never been assaulted by a student.

Thankfully, I dealt with the situation quickly and with minimal disruption to the rest of my class. Nonetheless, I am really bothered by the incident. I don't like that Decibals would treat me (or any teacher) so disrespectfully. We've been having problems for a while, but certainly nothing should have caused her to act the way she did.

Field Trip Awesome

I took my kids on a field trip to a local nature outreach center. My kids visited three different ecosystems -- a forest, a meadow, and a pond -- and learned about the different adaptations that animals have in order to survive in their environments.

I thought the field trip was great. My outdoors-challenged students thought otherwise. Here are some of their comments throughout the day:

"Yo, I be thirsty. Where's the water fountain?"

"I just tripped over two rocks. If I trip over another one, I'm suing."

"Ewwww, there's a fly." "Oh my god!" "That jawn tryin' to land on me!"

"Where the frogs?" "They got 'em at Petco."

"Do we got an elevator or escalator comin' up this hill?" "Can I call a cab?"

Quote of the Day - November 9, 2010

Me: Hey, Rappin' Hairdo, get to work on your questions!

(some time later)

Me: Rappin' Hairdo, how are your questions doing?

Rappin' Hairdo: They're still there. They're not going anywhere.

Awkward Moment of the Day - November 8, 2010

Decibals: Hahahahahaha I can't stop talking and laughing really loudly while Ms. Cyanococcus is trying to teach.

Me: Decibals, will you please be quiet and pay attention?

Decibals: Hahahahahahahahaha Miss, it's not my fault, it's my boyfriend's fault. Hahahahaha I'm going to keep talking and ignore Ms. Cyanococcus.

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: No, Miss, seriously, it's her boyfriend's fault. You can't blame her.

Much whispering and giggling ensued. I overheard the phrase "morning wood" and promptly decided to drop the issue. Decibals continued talking all period.

Hallway Hoopla

Four kids were wandering around the hallway during 8th period. I popped my head outside my classroom and asked them to hurry on to class.

Random Kid: Miss, you're supposed to be supporting us. You can't get us in trouble.

Me: I am supporting you. I want you to go to class so you can pass your classes!

Best Friend of Extremely Obnoxious: THAT'S WHY YOU FAILED ME LAST YEAR, RIGHT?

Observation

I can't get my students to listen to me talk about natural selection... but as soon as I mention that I went to a Sixers game (or a movie, or a coffee shop, or whatever) last night, I have their undivided attention.

Fingerprint Flaw

Me: Our objective today is to distinguish among the three classes of fingerprints.

Phone Addict: Oh my god, this is so easy, I learned this in like third grade or something. (whispers to neighbor) I can't believe she's teaching us this.

Me: Let's start off with a basic definition. A fingerprint is an impression of the pattern of ridges above the top joint of your finger.

Phone Addict: Miss, what's a fingerprint?

Field Trip Funnies #2

Urban Wonder: Miss, where are we going again?

Me: We're going to a center for environmental education. We'll be learning about ecosystems and adaptations, and we'll take a few short hikes.

Urban Wonder: What's a hike?

Me: A hike is a walk outdoors.

Urban Wonder: Well, I know you're a hippie, Miss, but I got my tv.

Quote of the Day - November 1, 2010

Mostly Magnetic: Hey Miss, you wanna know what I was for Halloween?

Me: Um....

Mostly Magnetic: A prostitute! You wanna see my pictures?

Me: Um, no, definitely not.