How to Destroy a Fragile Ecosystem...

A good friend of mine made this delightful and kind of frightening video: Who knew destroying a fragile ecosystem was so simple? One thing's for sure, I will certainly embark on a dam-building expedition tomorrow, munching on fast food along the way. Er....

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Punnett Squares Are Hip, Not Square

Either Punnett Squares are super easy to understand (I think so), or I'm a good teacher, or both. 4th period understood their algorithm and purpose so quickly, they were bored in 10 minutes. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Vacuous awed me by getting it before anyone else in 7th period -- my smartest class! I may need to change her pseudonym.

Wow. I love my kids. I love genetics.

Snow Day Absurdity!

I really wanted to go to work today! I want to teach! I miss my kids! Today, in environmental science, we were going to make edible aquifers. In biology, we were going to research genetic disorders for our projects. (Actually, all of this was planned for yesterday, but we had a [lack of] snow day.) I was really excited!

Now, I'll have to wait until Monday. I'm impatient.

AND I was going to watch my cheerleaders compete in a citywide cheerleading competition. That was going to be awesome! That shall wait, as well.

Snow, snow, go away, come again another day. Who knew I would love work this much?

Kind of a Raincloud

Today, 10th and 11th graders got their PSAT scores back. (They took the PSAT back in October; why are they getting their scores now?!) Two of my smartest 10th graders came up to me during class later, uber excited about their scores. "How did you do?" I asked, equally as excited. "We got 9's!" one of them exclaimed. I looked at their score reports. They had both scored in the 9th percentile. Nice.

The saddest part is that they don't realize how far behind they are.

Injustice! Update

For those of you who were wondering, Wrestler competed in the tournament, as expected, despite his failing grades. He came in 5th place in his division.

Yay student achievement! I had always thought that was our goal, but I'm not so sure anymore. After all, wrestling medals are really shiny and fun to brag about.

Reverse Pavlov

Two students from my 7th period class just came to visit me during my free period. I like both of them a lot, but they are extremely obnoxious in class. So one of the girls starts talking about how nobody in 7th period takes me seriously because I'm always laughing and when I tell them to stop talking, it's clear that I can't actually do anything about it. She then went on to say that when I tell her to stop talking, she talks more because she likes pissing me off.

Wow. Way to have no respect for me. Nice.

Insults of the Day

"Stop being such a nucleus!"

"Well, you're just a useless Golgi apparatus."

"Yeah? Well, you're homologous!"

And the compliment of the day:

"Miss, you're like the nucleus of this class. You run everything and make the class work."

Coaching? Injustice?

One of my coworkers told me an interesting story today:

One of his students, a wrestler, earned a 2.5% in his class first marking period and a 20% in his class second marking period. Wrestler is currently working (as in, not) toward 0% right now.

Wrestler's has been disrespectful to my colleague all year; however, his behavior has mysteriously improved over the past two weeks. Turns out there is a major wrestling meet this weekend, and the wrestling coach has only recently decided to enforce a longstanding academic guideline: If a student is failing any class, he or she cannot compete in athletic events.

Anyway, Wrestler went to his coach to ask if he could compete this weekend despite the fact that he is failing FOUR classes this marking period. His coach asked to speak to each of Wrestler's teachers. The coach explained to each teacher in turn that Wrestler was one of his star athletes and was nearly guaranteed to win a medal in this weekend's competition. If each teacher could change Wrestler's grade to a 65, if only for the weekend, the coach would be much obliged.

The coach was unfazed about asking this favor. It seemed like a perfectly rational request: Pass this kid so he'll be able to compete, and then we'll all go home happy.

Three out of four teachers gave in. When Wrestler approached my colleague about speaking with his coach, he was one grade away from participating in the competition.

My coworker did not end up relenting, making himself the bad guy. The kid is pissed, the coach is pissed, and the other teachers gave in for nothing. But wait a moment! Why on earth did three teachers agree to change Wrestler's grade? What kind of message is that sending to a teenager? Why do we all contribute to shoving issues underneath the rug and then vacuuming that rug to make it appear nice and glossy?

It's been five and a half months, and I am still shocked at how hard we try to fail our kids.

What I Should Have Told My Students in September

Welcome to 10th grade.

School may have been kind of easy in the past. You may have learned somewhat simple concepts and taken open-book tests.

Well, those days are over. High school is supposed to be hard. You will not perform well if you only learn in the 47 minutes of class time that has been allotted to you. In other words, YOU NEED TO STUDY.

Some of you will be able to get by with some paying attention and no studying. But most of you aren't that talented. (Sorry.) In order to learn and not just copy/regurgitate, you must review your notes on a regular basis. It goes without saying that you must study the night before a test or quiz.

If you don't get something, there are many good times to let me know. Why not raise your hand during class and tell me that you're lost? Why not come see me before school or after school or during your lunch period? Why not email me or call me? Whining minutes before a test that you haven't understood anything we've done in the last two weeks (when you have neither done your homework nor studied at all) is a really terrible strategy. You will not get much sympathy from me.

Also, please keep your mouths shut during a test/quiz. It's simply respectful to yourself and your classmates. I know you've all grown up with earphones plugged into your ears 24/7 and are used to a certain amount of background distraction. But music is one thing. Believe it or not, it's really hard to concentrate when the kid behind you is having a conversation with his neighbor. Or when someone else's music is blasting out of their headphones. So just be respectful. It'll help everyone in the short term AND long term.

And finally... If you stop fighting with me about following directions, you'll find that following directions is actually pretty easy. And if I give you time before a quiz to study, don't argue with me about how you can't possibly take the quiz because you were absent last Wednesday, and you forgot to study, and you don't know anything, and your hamster died, and you're hungry. Just shut up and study.

Thank you.

Secrets to a Happy Life

I love it. It's simple and wonderful. And true.

via You Might Like This (via Chart Porn)

Quote of the Day - February 18, 2010

Boisterous But Lovable: I fart in girls' faces when I have sex!

Umm,that seems anatomically impossible... but I wasn't going to press the issue.

Let's Talk about Sex, Baby

In 7th period today, my lesson on spermatogenesis and oogenesis completely degenerated into a Q&A on sex. I'm too embarrassed to even print the questions my students asked and hoped I would answer. (I did answer some of the PG-13 questions.)

Best quote from the conversation:

Big Attitude and the Maturity of a Ten-Year-Old: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Vacuous, how did you not know that?

Loud: Give me a break, I'm a virgin, okay?


And so it goes.

Okay, We're Done Now

Thanks, snow, you were very welcome last week, but I've had enough. I love my job, and I miss my kids. I'm genuinely looking forward to tomorrow morning.

Haves vs. Have Nots

Two interesting things on the GOOD blog this evening:

1. The job market is bad news bears if you're between the ages of 16 to 24. But while circumstances may seem bad for us college graduates, they become positively dire for high school dropouts. Looking at (approximately) June '09 through January '10 on the graph below, note the 4% unemployment rate for those with at least a bachelors degree as opposed to the 16% unemployment rate for those who have not completed high school. I realize that the "less than high school" category also includes current high school students who have been squeezed out of summer and after school jobs by their college-age counterparts. But high school dropouts do make up a large proportion of this bracket.
The even scarier statistic is the year-over-year change. Kids who have not completed high school are looking at a 8% change in unemployment compared to last year. Meanwhile, young people with a bachelors degree are facing a 2% year-over-year change. I wish many of my tenth graders would understand that NOW IS A TERRIBLE TIME TO DROP OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. And the future for high school dropouts isn't looking any better.

2. Utah State Senator Chris Buttars wants to trim the state budget by making senior year optional for high school students. He claims this would save $70 million for the state of Utah, which is currently undergoing a $700 million budget shortfall. Not bad, right?

While states tend to require only three years worth of high school credits in most subjects (for example, three years of math) for graduation, thereby making it feasible to graduate in three years, I worry that high school students who graduate early would lose out on that final synthesizing year of high school. True, high school seniors catch senioritis in droves. But, at the same time, I think many seniors do use their final year to embark on a community service project, conduct some sort of research, or merely apply the lessons they've learned throughout their secondary education as they begin to seriously consider life after high school.

One of my favorite Brown policies is its insistence that students complete all four years of undergrad. In other words, it's really, really difficult to graduate in three or three and a half years at Brown. I found that this forced undergrads to take classes they wouldn't have otherwise, devote more time to a thesis senior year, and thoroughly enjoy the four-year liberal arts experience. This may be my inner Brunonian speaking, but I truly feel there's a lot to be gained by completing four years of undergrad. By the same token, senior year of high school is of immense importance, budget shortfall or not.

That Pale Blue Dot

Twenty years ago today, this iconic and wonderful photograph was taken from the Voyager 1. Late astronomer Carl Sagan lobbied for a photo from the outskirts of the solar system, just as the Voyager was about to leave the solar system and move onto explorations within the greater Milky Way.

Sagan himself captured the beauty of the photo best:

Look again at that dot. That's here, that's home, that's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

As I glance outside and see the piles of grayish snow framing Philadelphia, a city located in the Northeast yet not accustomed to handling such an assault from the sky, I can't help but wonder... That pale blue dot seems so fragile within the greater confines (or lack thereof) of the universe. Meanwhile, we humans tend to be intoxicated by our self-imposed importance. In our hubris, we cause so much damage to the planet we call home. We exert a tremendous amount of influence over this place. But we need to yield our power differently in order to maintain those swirling white clouds and blue oceans evocative of another famous journey in space.

Snowmageddon!

A satellite photo from Saturday's storm. Simply beautiful. Who would have thought that would be the beginning of Winter Break #2?

via NASA's Earth Observatory (via DCist)

Do I Hear a Waltz?

SNOW DAY!!!

Instead of chatting with my seniors about environmental science and seizing upon teachable moments (which happens nearly every day in 2nd period and is awesome), I'm lying in bed and reading. On a Wednesday. AMAZING!

Quote of the Day - February 9, 2010

(in the middle of giving a lecture on meiosis)

Really Nice Girl Underneath It All: Miss, will I get in trouble if I ask you an honest question?

Me: Ummm... no.

Really Nice Girl Underneath It All: Do I look like I have a d*ck on my face?

Really Simple Instructions

On Friday, I gave my biology students a mitosis assignment to complete over the course of the period. I made it very clear that I would be collecting their work at the end of the period, and I reminded them of that fact throughout the 47 minute period.

Approximately 30% of my students did their work and handed something in. The other 70% goofed off, took out their notebooks upon hearing my 24th plea to do work, and promptly goofed off some more.

Oh. My. Gosh. What can I do to get my kids to care? And I know at the end of the marking period, all of my failing students will come to me and complain and accuse me of not teaching them.

My formula is pretty simple. If you try and hand stuff in, you will (most likely) pass. But I can't give you points for work that you don't do. So how can I better motivate my students?

Quote(s) of the Day - February 5, 2010

Me: Adorable But Slightly Sketchy Student, why aren't you working on your Do Now?

Adorable But Slightly Sketchy Student: Miss, come on, you hype. I'm texting 5 girls right now.

__________________

(as I'm searching for music on my computer to play for my 4th period biology class...)

Recently Reformed into Nice Girl: Miss, your music sucks. I've lost all respect for you.

Quote of the Day - February 4, 2010

Really Sweet Girl with a Lurking Attitude Monster: Miss! Miss! Miss! I have a big zit!

Me: No worries, so do I, right here.

Lurking Attitude Monster: But mine is bigger than yours... Miss, I can't do work today.

Best Excuse for Missing Class I've Heard (So Far)

(In a text message to another student in my class...)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Vacuous: didnt come to skool 2day bcuz i just took out my weave n my hair iz a mess

The Smith of Smiths: Tips for Cheering Up

The following list is from a biography of the English writer Sydney Smith, Hesketh Pearson's The Smith of Smiths. In 1820, Smith wrote a letter to an unhappy friend, Lady Morpeth, in which he offered her tips for cheering up. Some ideas are fairly dated, but most are just wonderful.

"1. Live as well as you dare.

2. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75 or 80 degrees.

3. Amusing books.

4. Short views of human life--not further than dinner or tea.

5. Be as busy as you can.

6. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you.

7. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.

8. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely--they are always worse for dignified concealment.

9. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.

10. Compare your lot with that of other people.

11. Don't expect too much from human life--a sorry business at the best.

12. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy, sentimental people, and everything likely to excite feeling or emotion, not ending in active benevolence.

13. Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.

14. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.

15. Make the room where you commonly sit gay and pleasant.

16. Struggle by little and little against idleness.

17. Don't be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.

18. Keep good blazing fires.

19. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.

20. Believe me, dear Lady Georgiana."

Mid-Winter Blues

I think my school's entire staff has been hit by the mid-winter blues. Everyone I see is sick, tired, or just plain grumpy. It's so hard to maintain a cheerful, optimistic attitude in such an environment. Not that I am playing my part as I should.... This week, I am also more irritable, less skippy. And I wonder how I can find the balance between putting my best foot forward and being honest with some people.