Sycophantic When It Suits Her came to class on Friday much more subdued. She asked during class if we could talk, and I immediately promised to meet with her after class. (Note: I diffused another potential conflict on Friday with that same technique. In the middle of class, "Miss, I'm so pissed at you now". "Okay, let's talk about it later.")
After class, Sycophantic and I had a productive and mature conversation. She apologized for being rude but expressed her feeling that I single her out unfairly. I acknowledged that was probably the truth. I offered to do better in the future, to deal with disapproval and discipline in ways that were less abrasive and embarrassing to her. I did, however, explain that we teachers aren't perfect, and, just like our students, we sometimes act with a hot head before stopping to think about a more rational plan of action.
I was really impressed by the way she handled the conversation. Few of my students are able to advocate for themselves so assertively yet politely. (Give me more time on the test! I don't have time to do my homework, so don't be counting it in my grade.) Even fewer students apologize for their errors. I just think it's difficult for teenagers to do, especially when they know they are wrong to begin with. I'm really happy we had this conversation, because I'm now able to view Sycophantic in a much better light.
Then again, maybe she was just being sycophantic because it suited her.
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