A Break!

Today is the first day of our spring break, even though I think all of us, teachers and students alike, checked out last Friday afternoon. Nevertheless, I intend to blog regularly this week, with musings, funny and frustrating student quotes I haven't yet posted, and possibly even a breakdown of my grades this marking period! (That should make shivers run down your spine!)

So to all my fellow Philadelphia schoolteachers, and to all the Brown students out there, have a wonderful spring break!!

Quote of the Day - March 30, 2010

We are watching Gattaca in biology class. For whatever reason, the camera flips for a (not too exciting) sex scene...

Boisterous But Lovable: How do they freak upside down???! I'm gonna freak upside down from now on!


I had no idea that "freak" had such a meaning, but, then again, even my mother reminds me of how uncool I am.

If I Could Choose Any Candy to Represent Me, I Would Choose...

Boisterous But Lovable: Chocolate because it's the best cause babes love it lol

Just Adorable And Brilliant: I'll be a snickers because I'm hard in the outside but soft in the inside. Good inside and tough outside.

Poorly Influenced by Boisterous But Lovable: Twix, because of chocolate and P.B. It's so banging.

Quote(s) of the Day - March 24, 2010

Me: So guys, there's this great genetics pickup line: I wish I were a DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes.

Makes Barnyard Animal Noises: DNA helicase is a whore!

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Smart But Oh So Loud: Miss, Miss, Miss!!!! I just realized that everything we've learned so far, it all fits together!

Hands Down Smartest, Most Responsible Kid: You JUST figured that out?!

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Me: How do you guys feel about a field trip to the zoo?

Adorable But Slightly Sketchy Student: Aw, no, miss, that's kid stuff. Like, I took my daughter there!

(pause)

Me (in shock): You have a daughter!

Adorable But Slightly Sketchy Student: Hell yeah. And another one on the way.

(And he promptly returns to texting 5 girls on MySpace.)

Quote of the Day - March 23, 2010

Me: Hey guys, come up to the front and get your lab supplies.... How come only four people have gotten supplies so far? Come on!

Obnoxious with Weird Hair: That should tell you how many people actually like this class.

Me: Obnoxious, please don't be rude.

Obnoxious: I'm not being rude, I'm being honest.

NSTA Convention!

The National Science Teachers' Association is holding its annual conference in Philadelphia this weekend! I'm going today (in about 5 minutes), and I couldn't be more excited! I have mitosis, climate change, and inquiry-based learning, among other things, on my agenda.

My only issue is that it's such a beautiful Saturday -- If only the conference could be held outdoors!

Quote of the Day - March 19, 2010

Nucleus: I wonder if I have sickle cells in my body...

Makes Barnyard Animal Noises: I know I have sickle cells. I also have tickle cells!

Quote(s) of the Day - March 17, 2010

In the middle of a lesson on DNA...

Nucleus (in a whisper): Once Failing, Now Kicking Butt, do you have sweaty boobs?

Kicking Butt (shouting): I DO NOT have sweaty boobs!!!

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Towards the end of the same class...

Me: Unhealthily Boy Crazy, please work on your guided practice. Please.

Boy Crazy: No, Miss, I want to talk about your hair...

Me: Oh, okay, well keratin is the protein that makes up your hair, and it's fascinating.

Bright Kid with World's Biggest Attitude Problem: Miss, can you stop being a nerd? Even just for one second?

And the Green Shoots are Wilting

In answering the same Do Now prompt, Dislikes Pigs wrote, "I like studying at the last minute because the information is freshly stored." He scored a 53.

Which was above the average. Bahhh.

The Green Shoots are Growing

Wednesday's Biology Do Now:

What do you still need to do to study for your genetics test tomorrow?

Once Failing, Now Kicking Butt: When I study, I usually read over my notes a couple times. Then I write down definitions once or twice, to make sure I know them. If I still haven't memorized them, I quiz myself. Then, I do problems over again so I understand them. So that's what I'm going to do to study for the test.

Once Failing, Now Kicking Butt got a 99. Out of my three bio classes, she scored second only to Hands Down Smartest, Most Responsible Kid.

Favorite Holiday

Happy π Day!

News from the Ground

During a genetics test, Brilliant But Easily Distracted Kid was talking so much that I had to take his test and give him a zero. Now, his 98 average has dropped to an 83. Better than most students in my biology class, but still. When I tried to admonish him later, he told me that, at the end of the day, nothing can make him stop talking. Not even a zero on a test.

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Has a Hugging Problem is hugging me more than ever. She is also attempting to buy off her disruptive behavior by giving me chips and cookies at the beginning of the day. I wonder what's going on at home...

Quote(s) of the Day - March 11, 2010

Makes Barnyard Animal Noises: Miss, I'm not getting any... gum.

~~~~~

Makes Barnyard Animal Noises: Miss, do I seem like a black hole to you?

How to Make Me Happy

Hand me a box of blueberries in the morning. Special thanks to my amazing coworker who did just that yesterday and made my day.

Quote of the Day - March 10, 2010

Upon finding Big Attitude and the Maturity of a Ten-Year-Old and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Vacuous roaming the hallway during advisory...

Me: Where are you guys headed next period?

Loud: I dunno... Maturity, where are we headed?

Maturity: Lunch

Loud: Yeah, miss, we going to lunch.

Me: Loud, is that where you always go, or are you just following Maturity around today?

Loud: I always have lunch 4th period. But I forget. Maturity has to remember my schedule for me.

Email of the Day - March 9, 2010

From a very bright student, with regard to a project due later this week:

"Can u look over it I know I need 2 make sum corrections also I got information from da web dat I put on there"

Why "there" and not "dere"? At least show some consistency!

Why Didn't I Think of This?

Mitosis cookies!!

... Brilliant, just brilliant. Now, if only I could demonstrate mitosis using blueberries...

via Boing Boing

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

At a Good Day Teaching, a Philadelphia teacher rants about the epidemic of people who refer to our students as "these kids." She writes,

>>Although many comments can be helpful and germane to the larger conversation on educational reform, there are a depressing number of comments that refer to "these kids". "These kids" the rant goes, are irredeemable, not able to be educated, worthless, beyond saving....<<

This irks me beyond belief. When teachers/policy makers/community members/well-meaning friends and family of mine refer to the students in urban schools as "these kids," I feel like they are abdicating responsibility for them. Let's give up on "these kids"; they are not our problem.

Well, they are your problem. They are certainly my problem. And I wouldn't trade my problem for any other problem in the world, because they are MY kids.

A Good Day Teaching goes to say,

>>Here is what I see: A group of boys and girls who can be, on any given day, funny, engaging, heartbreaking, infuriating, hard-working, insightful, lazy..... In other words, kids who are like almost any other group of twelve and thirteen year-olds in the country!<<

If you talk to me long enough, you might believe I've actually mothered 130 kids. I talk about my kids devotedly, exasperatingly, excitedly, and with an abundance of affection I never knew I had in me. Some of them are more difficult to love than others. And my expectations differ, too. I want only the best from some of my sweetest, smartest, and most mature students, while simply a smile from Bright Kid with World's Biggest Attitude Problem warms my heart.

But don't talk to me about "these kids." I don't know what kids you're talking about. If you mention my kids, however, my heart will flutter a little bit, and I'll be happy to talk to you.

Quote of the Day - March 5, 2010

Straight-Up Obnoxious: So I told that jawn, I don't want no f***ing jawn in my jawn, you know?

Penny Independence

My biology students worked on a dry lab today. Our objective was to compare the predictions made by Punnett squares to actual outcomes. They simulated actual outcomes by flipping two pennies (each penny represented one parent) 100 times.

We hit several roadblocks:

1. Many kids did not know what a Punnett square was. This was initially a bit upsetting, as we have been working exclusively with Punnett squares for the past three classes. It turns out that while most confused students understood the concept, they just didn't recall the term. ...I'm not sure whether to be somewhat happy or somewhat dismayed.

2. Many students also did not remember what genotypes and phenotypes were. Again, a simple case of comprehending the concepts but not remembering the terms/matching the terms with their definitions. I'm starting to understand why test scores are so low!

3. The biggest, most exasperating problem: After six months of teaching (wow!), I know that my kids have severe independence issues. By that, I mean that my kids are less apt to read directions carefully and figure things out on their own than they are to ask me to hold their hands. Knowing this in advance, I wrote the lab with extra-clear, step-by-step instructions and had the students form teams. In advance of doing the lab, I asked them to read the lab carefully. I then told them that, if they had a question, they should reread the directions and ask a teammate. If they were still confused, they should quietly raise their hands.

I was hoping that this setup would leave me free to float around the room and handle major genetics comprehension issues. But NOOOO! Most teams asked me questions (well, shouted questions) about every single step. Despite my extra clear directions (which, admittedly, do need work), my students more or less wanted me to narrate all of the steps for them.

I can see three reasons for this problem:
1. They are lazy. I don't intend to be mean; I too can be quite lazy when it comes to learning new things and asking my brain to stretch itself and think. Why exert effort when someone else can do the work for you?

2. Teachers have been guiding them along for years. I am guilty of this, as well. It is much easier to just explain and answer questions then it is to do the hard work of weaning them off of my guidance and fostering independence. I realize that this is perhaps causing my students to learn superficial concepts but not to learn how to learn. Maybe I am the lazy one here...

3. I think this is the underlying problem: Most of my students lack confidence academically. They know that they have always struggled, and, well, why flirt with failure if you can avoid it? So much of their lack of confidence comes from home and friends and prior academic experiences, such that it is fairly ingrained by high school. It is so tempting for many students to turn off their brains and retreat behind shouts of "MISS!!!!"

So... any ideas?

Green Shoots

For the first half of the year, Extra Giggly came to class late, texted her friends nonstop, and literally did no work. She gave no semblance of caring. She must have had some kind of religious awakening, or something, because she is now one of my most dedicated students. For the past five weeks, her work has been impeccable. She has attempted every single extra credit opportunity I've offered. I have been amazed, and delighted.

Today, we had some extra time at the end of class, and every interested student had the chance to see his or her current grade in my class. Extra Giggly flipped out upon finding out that her grade was not the highest in the class and begged for more extra credit work. She also asked what we would be learning next unit and if it had any connection to material she's learned in school before.

Wow. Just wow.

Quote(s) of the Day - March 1, 2010

Last Wednesday's Do Now: If your house was on fire, what three items would you grab and why?

Has a Hugging Problem: I would take my iPod, my phone, and I guess my mom.

Hands Down Smartest, Most Responsible Kid: I would grab a fire extinguisher to put the fire out. I wouldn't need to grab anything else.