Quote of the Day - October 29, 2010

Loves Candy: Miss, what's a nice way to say "fat"?

Me: Ummm, how about "pleasantly plump"?

Loves Candy: (begins writing assignment) Loves Candy is pleasantly plump....

Quote of the Day - October 28, 2010

On fitness and adaptations:

Super Student: It's like, all the girls are gonna want the big hunter who brings back lots of meat. Nobody's gonna want the dorky hunter.

Field Trip Woes

Hasn't Come to Class in Four Weeks: Can I drive my own car behind the bus? I'll leave from school and meet you guys at the environmental center.

Me: No, I'm pretty sure the school district won't allow it. You know, there are liability issues and all. You need to take the bus with us if you want to come.

Hasn't Come to Class in Four Weeks: Well.... I got shot three weeks ago, and I can't take buses for another month.

Field Trip Funnies

I'm taking my Environmental Science classes on a field trip to a local environmental center in two weeks. As I was explaining the logistics of the trip, I got this question...

Super Student: Are we taking SEPTA or the cheese bus?

All's Fair in Love and War

Alphabet Soup dumped Arte Johnson. (I found out when I spotted Arte sobbing in the stairwell.) To make matters worse, their rosters were changed so that they are now both in the same Environmental Science class. Oh, irony.

GI Problems

In environmental science, we were talking about upcoming events in the course...

One bright student asked, "Can we digest a frog?"

Sad Quote of the Day - October 22, 2010

I was explaining the difference between K-strategists and r-strategists.

Me: So if a human mother has two to five children, how many of those children will live to adulthood?

Has Two Kids: Maybe one or two. The rest will get shot.

Astute

Nonexistent Attention Span: You be mad cause I'm smarter than you.

Photo Comment of the Day - October 21, 2010

Each day, I post a cool photo of the day. Usually, it's something biological, or else a geographical location of note. Anyhow, one student's reaction to this photo of an adult emperor penguin with his penguin chicks:

"Looks like a bunch of Ricans surrounding a white dude."

Quote of the Day - October 21, 2010

Me: Hi, Straight-Up Obnoxious!

Straight-Up Obnoxious: You know I don't like you. Don't you be sayin' hi to me.

Me: Well, see you later!

Straight-Up Obnoxious: Okay, white trash.

Quote of the Day - October 18, 2010

Part-Time English Speaker: Jibber jabber jibber jabber en espanol

Me: Part-Time English Speaker, please stop talking while I was talking.

Part-Time English Speaker: Jibber jabber jibber jabber en espanol

Me: Part-Time English Speaker!!!!!!

Part-Time English Speaker: Miss... who was talking first?

Forensics Fun

Nonexistent Attention Span: Miss, how come every movie we watch in this class has to do with crime?

~~~~~~~~~

Nonexistent Attention Span: Miss, I think you're obsessed with the word "brown". It's kinda weird.

I've Been Waiting for Someone to Say This...

Me: Who can explain the first level of ecological organization? Yeah, Beatboxes Constantly?

Beatboxes Constantly: An individual, which is a single orgasm.

I'm Lovin' It

I had my forensics science students write skits about a crime scene. Some of the skits were so-so or even downright bad, but some were quite creative. My favorite skit involved a McDonald's customer fighting with the cashier. The security guard came in to support the cashier. He got carried away and assaulted the customer. My students had rehearsed, and they acted well.

The best part, though, was the props. They used paper and colored pencils to make three-dimensional french fries, chicken nuggets, a big mac, and a coke with a straw. They also made a paper pistol. It was so adorable. I spent the rest of the day slurping paper soda.

Plea #2

I got another note from my desperate student:

Hi Ms. I jost wanna told yoo yoo are the best and this test I do the best I can jost because I wanna fix my grade.

Missed a Key Lesson

One student's Do Now:

I wish my inglesh class was fun.

Quote of the Day - October 8, 2010

Dubious: Yo, Miss, they switched me into a new Spanish class last week, and I'm already failing! Like, how is that possible?!

Me: Well, have you been doing your work?

Dubious: Yeah, I do all my work. AND I paid my cousin ten dollars to do my homework for me... I hate my Spanish teacher. She so hype.

Ever True

Heading up to Providence in an hour. Woohoo!!

A Plea

One month into the school year, many of my students are failing my class. One of them left me this note on my attendance sheet:

I don't wanna no "f" please. My mom gonna kill me... help me please, please miss. Love you a lot.

Sexy Animals

After yesterday's discussion, I polled my students on which animals they found sexiest.

Their responses, starting with the most popular:

Tigers
Koalas
Cougars
Panda bears
Kangaroos
Lions
Komodo dragons
Chihuahuas
Mickey Mouse

Quote of the Day - October 5, 2010

In Environmental Science today, I was teaching about consumers (in the context of the carbon cycle). My slide featured a photo of two elephants.

Super Student: Miss, why you gotta show an unsexy animal? Why can't you show something like... koalas?

All's Well in the World of Love

I spotted Arte Johnson and Alphabet Soup holding hands in the hallway. Awwww.

Test Response of the Day - October 4, 2010: Addendum #2

I should have just compiled all of these responses into one post, but it's too late now. Sorry for the deluge.

Question: In four sentences, describe a historical event or discovery that is important to the field of forensic science today.

Response: A discovery that is very important to the field of forensic science is DNA. DNA has made finding criminals so much easier.

Test Response of the Day - October 4, 2010: Addendum

I forgot to mention the most popular response -- the right to bare arms.

Quote of the Day - October 4, 2010

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: Miss, what do I need to know for the test?

Me: The Locard Principle, criminal law vs civil law, plea bargaining, the Bill of Rights...

Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: I don't pay no bills. I'm not gonna study that.

Test Response of the Day - October 4, 2010

I gave a unit test to my forensic science students today. One of their short answer questions was, "List three rights guaranteed to you by the Bill of Rights. Give an example for each."

One student wrote, "the right to DNA. the right to a trail."

But, hey, at least he provided an answer!

Weekends

are for lesson planning. The End.

Forensic Science Case Studies

My forensic science students had to complete a history project. As per their requirements, they had to state why the event they were studying is significant to the field of forensic science today.

One group did their project on the Black Dahlia case. They wrote,

"Girls can learn from this. Or dudes. DNA wasn't that great in 1947 but if they had kept some of her DNA they could of found her killer today."

Friday, You Can Hold Your Head

I just walked into my classroom to find that my room is flooded. Great. It's going to be a fun day teaching.

(Kind of ironic that water won't flow out of my sink taps, but it will appear on my floor. Maybe I should bottle it and save it for my next lab.)