Bad Day

For some reason, yesterday was one of my worst days at school so far this year. I figured that since I had made it all the way to mid-May, it would be smooth sailing for the rest of the year, but I guess not.

In 4th period, my kids tried to put me in the middle of a dispute they were having with another teacher, and I exacerbated the situation rather than diffusing it early on. In my defense, I was really taken aback by the suddenness of their assault. On the other hand, I work every day with a bunch of crazy kids, and I should have my wits about me at all times. I guess I was caught between feeling the need to stand up for my colleague while also wanting to protect my kids, for whom I feel almost motherly sometimes.

6th period was typical. They entered the class like animals, miraculously became well-behaved during the lesson and repeatedly demonstrated their mastery of the material, and left class like animals. No surprises there.

But 7th period was the worst. First, I tried to separate Master of Righteous Indignation and his BFF. When the two of them sit together, they talk loudly and cause disruptions that affect not only their learning, but that of the rest of the class as well. Their attitudes also tend to explode when they are together, and today was no exception. They cursed at me as soon as I approached them during the Do Now, and they flat-out refused to move. I brought in an NTA (non-teaching assistant) to help out, and they gave her even worse treatment, calling her the N-word. When she abruptly disappeared, I realized that 40% of my class had joined together in a loud, profane, and physical classroom management crisis.

After 9 months of teacher, I should be better equipped to deal with this kind of thing. However, my frustration got the best of me, and I ended up getting into a screaming match with one of my students. In the middle of yelling, I realized what I was doing and became ashamed of myself, which lowered my confidence and competence even more. Everyone finally calmed down a bit and returned to their seats, at which point they promptly started talking too loudly for me to teach. So I stopped teaching. I flipped through the slides without explaining everything. I felt miserable, but defeated. This wasn't the way my classroom was supposed to be. My kids certainly weren't learning. Some of my kids may have felt that they were winning, but I (and my kids who had been sitting quietly and attentively the entire time) knew we were all losing.

The situation finally improved when the NTA returned with the scariest assistant principal. He gave my students a stern lecture about respect and its role in education, and he left with Master of Righteous Indignation and his BFF. When 7th period ended, I collapsed in gratitude for the end of my work week.