This post on Richard Wiseman's blog is laugh-out-loud funny. Since my blog is essentially about children, I feel the need to link.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Quote of the Day - February 16, 2011
Little Miss Negative: I'm gonna become the best forensic scientist ever, you hear me?
Speaks Louder Than Jet Engine: No.
Little Miss Negative: I'M GONNA BECOME THE BEST FORENSIC SCIENTIST EVER. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Speaks Louder Than Jet Engine: No.
Little Miss Negative: I'M GONNA BECOME THE BEST FORENSIC SCIENTIST EVER. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Change of Heart?
Sourpuss: I'm gonna study hard for the quiz tomorrow. I'm getting my master's degree. In science.
Valentine's Day
School was CRRRRAAAZZZY yesterday. I had always thought Valentine's Day was a cute holiday but ultimately too kitschy for people to really take it seriously. Boy, was I wrong! My kids were more excited about Valentine's Day than they were about Halloween or Christmas. Girls walked around ALL DAY with flowers, balloons, and giant stuffed animals. Rather than put those items in their lockers, it was important to show them off to every other girl, all of whom where carrying the EXACT SAME THINGS. And then --
"Miss, where's my Valentine? Did you get me one?"
(in my head) Did you get me one? Probably not.
The biggest problem was that students somehow felt that Valentine's Day constituted a holiday from classwork and learning. The halls were full of students, students would walk out of class unannounced and return with loads of goodies, and students told that they definitely would not do their homework, I guess because they have to go out on Valentine's Day dates from 3:04pm to midnight.
Sigh. I hate to be the one to tell them that, in the real world, February 14th is not a federal holiday.
"Miss, where's my Valentine? Did you get me one?"
(in my head) Did you get me one? Probably not.
The biggest problem was that students somehow felt that Valentine's Day constituted a holiday from classwork and learning. The halls were full of students, students would walk out of class unannounced and return with loads of goodies, and students told that they definitely would not do their homework, I guess because they have to go out on Valentine's Day dates from 3:04pm to midnight.
Sigh. I hate to be the one to tell them that, in the real world, February 14th is not a federal holiday.
Math Troubles
Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: Miss, I got a 50/50 on my Forensic Science quiz. Did I do good?
Me: Well, you tell me. Why don't you do the math?
Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: That's too hard. The way you do grading is too confusing.
Me: Well, if you divide 50 by 50, what do you get?
Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: I dunno. That's why I'm asking you.
Me: Well, you tell me. Why don't you do the math?
Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: That's too hard. The way you do grading is too confusing.
Me: Well, if you divide 50 by 50, what do you get?
Speaks Louder Than a Jet Engine: I dunno. That's why I'm asking you.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Follow-Up to Friday Detention Story
Decibals came to school yesterday rather than go shopping. She did serve her detention, during which I was successful in getting her to make up some missing work. So far, so good.
It gets better: Apparently, Decibals spent the whole day prior to her detention complaining to her Decibals-entourage about me. They all know now that I am the worst teacher EVER, that I give unnecessary detentions on unnecessary days, and that I reprimand students for cursing.
Not a bad reputation. I like it.
It gets better: Apparently, Decibals spent the whole day prior to her detention complaining to her Decibals-entourage about me. They all know now that I am the worst teacher EVER, that I give unnecessary detentions on unnecessary days, and that I reprimand students for cursing.
Not a bad reputation. I like it.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Only in My Life
On Wednesday, I gave Decibals a detention for completely outrageous behavior. I scheduled her detention for Friday after school. Decibals was not happy, and I received reports that she spent the rest of the day complaining and cursing me out to other students.
On Thursday, during my lunch period, Decibals knocked on my door. I had never seen her act so respectfully. She asked if we could please reschedule the detention, as she was busy on Friday. I thought about it, but I realized I was busy that Thursday afternoon, as well as the following Monday and Tuesday afternoons. No, I told her, detention had to be Friday.
"But I really can't go!" she said.
I paused, pondering the myriad of possible responsibilities she might have on a Friday afternoon. Maybe she had to babysit a younger sibling? Report to work? Take care of an older relative? "Well, what do you have to do tomorrow afternoon?" I asked.
"I'm skipping school to go shopping!"
On Thursday, during my lunch period, Decibals knocked on my door. I had never seen her act so respectfully. She asked if we could please reschedule the detention, as she was busy on Friday. I thought about it, but I realized I was busy that Thursday afternoon, as well as the following Monday and Tuesday afternoons. No, I told her, detention had to be Friday.
"But I really can't go!" she said.
I paused, pondering the myriad of possible responsibilities she might have on a Friday afternoon. Maybe she had to babysit a younger sibling? Report to work? Take care of an older relative? "Well, what do you have to do tomorrow afternoon?" I asked.
"I'm skipping school to go shopping!"
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