Only in My Life

On Wednesday, I gave Decibals a detention for completely outrageous behavior. I scheduled her detention for Friday after school. Decibals was not happy, and I received reports that she spent the rest of the day complaining and cursing me out to other students.

On Thursday, during my lunch period, Decibals knocked on my door. I had never seen her act so respectfully. She asked if we could please reschedule the detention, as she was busy on Friday. I thought about it, but I realized I was busy that Thursday afternoon, as well as the following Monday and Tuesday afternoons. No, I told her, detention had to be Friday.

"But I really can't go!" she said.

I paused, pondering the myriad of possible responsibilities she might have on a Friday afternoon. Maybe she had to babysit a younger sibling? Report to work? Take care of an older relative? "Well, what do you have to do tomorrow afternoon?" I asked.

"I'm skipping school to go shopping!"

Oh, So It's My Fault

Me: Knows Everything, I need you to be quiet.

(30 seconds later)

Me: Knows Everything, stop talking!

Knows Everything: No, I'm ain't gonna stop talking! You stop talking.

Me: Okay, but you're failing, so what you're doing right now isn't working. Maybe you should stop talking and see if your grades improve.

Knows Everything: You're the teacher, so it's your fault if I fail. You be doin' a bad job. (as a second thought) F*** science.

Back to Those Friday Blues

Several weeks ago, Decibels shoved me when I challenged her consistent lateness to class. I followed up on her case several days ago. It turns out that nothing was done. Even though she assaulted a teacher, the administrator to whom I referred her scolded her briefly and then allowed her to return to her classes. There was no detention, no suspension, no counseling, no conference with a parent. She attended my class the next day, and every day thereafter, her attitude problem unsolved.

On another note, we just had a faculty meeting during which our principal proudly told us that our school has had zero "dangerous incidents" this school year. Well, numbers stay low when you don't report anything.

Friday Blues, Part 1

Decibals walked into my room 6 minutes late, as usual. Today, however, she was completely out of uniform. Instead of wearing the required white collared shirt and khaki pants, she showed up in blue jeans and a red shirt. I was in a strict mood, so I told her to go get a late pass and return in uniform. She was wearing khaki pants when she returned, but she lacked a pass. I told her, once again, to retrieve a late pass. She walked into the room anyway.

I blocked her entry. She shoved me out of the way with her arms. As she forced her way in, she told me to "get out of my f***ing way." As I began to admonish her, she said, "Don't you f***ing talk to me."

Well, that was that. I allowed her to sit down, but I immediately called the school police. Decibals was removed from my class in short time.

I generally don't have those sorts of problems. I expect my students to treat me respectfully and kindly, and they generally do. Even my most obnoxious students do not curse at me. And I have never been assaulted by a student.

Thankfully, I dealt with the situation quickly and with minimal disruption to the rest of my class. Nonetheless, I am really bothered by the incident. I don't like that Decibals would treat me (or any teacher) so disrespectfully. We've been having problems for a while, but certainly nothing should have caused her to act the way she did.

Hallway Hoopla

Four kids were wandering around the hallway during 8th period. I popped my head outside my classroom and asked them to hurry on to class.

Random Kid: Miss, you're supposed to be supporting us. You can't get us in trouble.

Me: I am supporting you. I want you to go to class so you can pass your classes!

Best Friend of Extremely Obnoxious: THAT'S WHY YOU FAILED ME LAST YEAR, RIGHT?

Teach, Vomit, Teach

Yesterday was without a doubt my worst day of teaching. My kids were well-behaved, and I had prepared my lessons in advance. But sometime around 11am, while I was teaching my 5th period class about sea turtles in the Gulf of Mexico, I moved my hands instinctively to my mouth. A moment later, I ran into the prep room that adjoins my room and vomited violently into the trash can. I returned and, amidst gleeful accusations that I was pregnant, continued to teach.

The same thing happened 6th period, though a little earlier in the lesson. I ran out of the room, vomited, and came back, all smiles to teach. At the same time, my body was starting to betray me. I could no longer stand up. My head pounded. My mouth burned. One of my best friends had invited me to observe his lesson during one of my free periods, but I couldn't even sit still at a desk without feeling pain and discomfort. I was committed to teaching my final, 9th period class, but I eventually accepted the obvious, that I was in no condition to get up in front of a class. Fortunately, my amazing coteacher, who has 9th period free, agreed to teach my class for me. I was helping her set up at the beginning of the period, when I knew I had to run. I didn't make it to the prep room but vomited into my classroom's trash can, just as two students walked in.

That last event really bothered me. While I don't want to get any students sick, it's important to me to teach at all times, even if I'm not feeling my best. In general, I think my students benefit more from their regular teacher functioning at 75% than a substitute. In this case, my coteacher does not really count as a substitute. She knew the material and handled the class impressively, given that she didn't know most of the students. Between me and her, she was the better choice to teach the class yesterday. Nevertheless, I was disappointed in myself. I thought I was invincible, but I guess I'm not.

Shiftiness

As long as I'm blogging about office supplies, I may as well rant a little bit about my most-hated office supply company: 3M.

Growing up, I took post-it notes for granted. But when one of my best friends from high school developed a minor obsession with them, I began to respect the brilliance of a piece of paper that contains its own adhesive. No tape. Yes convenience. Ten points for efficiency!

But recently, I've come to believe that 3M is evil (and quite clever). Super sticky post-it notes have infiltrated the market. Now, when I go office supply shopping, I have no choice but to spend more money on super sticky post-it notes because -- let's face it -- who wants to buy weakly sticky post-it notes?! I know I can't work with inferior quality. And 3M knows it can claim a slightly larger percentage of my paycheck.

Bastards.

VS

A Perversion in Philadelphia

As I've blogged over the eight months, I've tried to stay away from the political and focus on my experiences with my students.

However, I do have strong feelings about what goes on in my school district, particularly about the (IMHO) mishandling of low-performing schools. A Good Day Teaching writes passionately about the situation at West Philadelphia High School. If you teach in Philly or are simply interested in the behind-the-scenes dealings of an urban district, please read her thoughts.

Note: Her post is very slanted. For basic coverage of the most recent incident involving West, check out The Notebook or The Inquirer.

Doldrums

Three days of nothing down, two to go.

What on earth am I going to do today? I never thought I would miss teaching so much, so soon.

...I don't even have any funny quotes these days! This is what happens when I come to school but don't see my students!

To Fail or To Pass

I'm having a horrible day at school. There is a lot of pressure to graduate students, and.... well, as one counselor said, "_______ won't be needing Environmental Science for whatever she does after high school, so you might as well pass her."

Ugh! Nevertheless, it's Friday, and I'm managing to maintain a cheerful attitude.

Preparedness

In Environmental Science, one of my smartest and laziest students neglected to bring her packet (in which all of her unit work is contained) to class for the second day in a row. Upon questioning, she told me her packet was in her locker. But when I wrote her a pass to go to her locker, she flat-out refused to leave. I asked and coaxed and pleaded with her to go to her locker, and still she refused, telling me she "didn't feel like it." I then directed her to go to her locker. Still, a refusal. Finally, I asked her to stand outside for the rest of the class. I know that probably wasn't the best option, but I was beginning to worry about the value of my authority. And I felt that if she wasn't going to obey my instruction to be prepared, that I had to assert my authority and command respect somehow, for her sake for the sake of the rest of the class. I still don't know what the best course of action would have been.

Quote of the Day - June 1, 2010

Precocious and Matter-of-Fact: Miss, it was a three-day weekend. So I can't learn all week.

True, we're all burnt out and checked out, and holiday weekends always require some recovery time. But even so...

Drawbacks

Crazy kids stole my phone! (I don't think they were my kids, but I don't want to point any fingers. Suffice it to say my kids are really truly under control and know better.) Had to go buy a new one...

Quote(s) of the Day - May 26, 2010

During a lesson on ecology, upon explaining that producers convert sun energy into sugar...

Rooster: Wait, so are you saying that all food contains sugar?

Makes Barnyard Animal Sounds: Oh my god, he just said that waffles don't have sugar! Haha, he's so dumb!

Barnyard spent the rest of the period whistling, humming, and oinking.

~~~~~~~~~

Me: Extremely Obnoxious, stop talking to Master of Righteous Indignation.

Obnoxious: I SWEAR I was talking to Master of Righteous Indignation... So get out of my face, and stop saying my name.

Manic Monday

School ends June 18th, so today is the start of the last four weeks of school. My students are checking out mentally. Many have already informed me that they have no intention of coming to school once it gets to be hot and sunny on a regular basis. They already have a bad track record of attending when it rains (which is sort of justifiable, since so many walk to school). Today is supposed to be rainy and 75 degrees.

So if we combine the factors of rain, high temperatures, end of the year, and Monday, I wonder what attendance will be like today....

Hopefully, high, because I am teaching exciting stuff today (and starting a new unit -- ecology! -- in biology). But attendance is a very sobering matter.

Lock-Out!

Oh, the challenges of being a first-year teacher in an overcrowded urban school! Not only do I float from classroom to classroom, since I am too junior to have my own classroom, but I don't have a key to any of the classrooms I teach in. So I showed up to class today only to find out that it was locked. Nobody in the building seems to know how to open the door. So much for the test I was planning to give... I guess my kids are happy!

Bad Day

For some reason, yesterday was one of my worst days at school so far this year. I figured that since I had made it all the way to mid-May, it would be smooth sailing for the rest of the year, but I guess not.

In 4th period, my kids tried to put me in the middle of a dispute they were having with another teacher, and I exacerbated the situation rather than diffusing it early on. In my defense, I was really taken aback by the suddenness of their assault. On the other hand, I work every day with a bunch of crazy kids, and I should have my wits about me at all times. I guess I was caught between feeling the need to stand up for my colleague while also wanting to protect my kids, for whom I feel almost motherly sometimes.

6th period was typical. They entered the class like animals, miraculously became well-behaved during the lesson and repeatedly demonstrated their mastery of the material, and left class like animals. No surprises there.

But 7th period was the worst. First, I tried to separate Master of Righteous Indignation and his BFF. When the two of them sit together, they talk loudly and cause disruptions that affect not only their learning, but that of the rest of the class as well. Their attitudes also tend to explode when they are together, and today was no exception. They cursed at me as soon as I approached them during the Do Now, and they flat-out refused to move. I brought in an NTA (non-teaching assistant) to help out, and they gave her even worse treatment, calling her the N-word. When she abruptly disappeared, I realized that 40% of my class had joined together in a loud, profane, and physical classroom management crisis.

After 9 months of teacher, I should be better equipped to deal with this kind of thing. However, my frustration got the best of me, and I ended up getting into a screaming match with one of my students. In the middle of yelling, I realized what I was doing and became ashamed of myself, which lowered my confidence and competence even more. Everyone finally calmed down a bit and returned to their seats, at which point they promptly started talking too loudly for me to teach. So I stopped teaching. I flipped through the slides without explaining everything. I felt miserable, but defeated. This wasn't the way my classroom was supposed to be. My kids certainly weren't learning. Some of my kids may have felt that they were winning, but I (and my kids who had been sitting quietly and attentively the entire time) knew we were all losing.

The situation finally improved when the NTA returned with the scariest assistant principal. He gave my students a stern lecture about respect and its role in education, and he left with Master of Righteous Indignation and his BFF. When 7th period ended, I collapsed in gratitude for the end of my work week.

Quote of the Day - May 14, 2010

Me: Bright Kid With World's Biggest Attitude Problem, turn around, stop talking, put the phone away, and get back to work.

Bright Kid With World's Biggest Attitude Problem: Oh my god. Certain teachers don't understand that we're kids, and we only care about having fun.

On Having a Neandertal as a Great-Great-Great-Grandmother

A Draft Sequence of the Neandertal Genome

I am so excited to learn about this. I'm doing my best with my kids to get beyond the banal basics of natural selection and into the more interesting specifics of adaptive human evolution. We are slowly learning about various examples of selection pressures, and I'm delighted to see that my students are buying it! Most of them were initially resistant, but they are opening up to the science more than I think they realize.

That being said, I learned today yet another lesson about assuming too much of my students' prior knowledge. Excitedly, I stood before my 6th period class and said, "Hey! Did you guys know that we share about 4% of our DNA with Neandertals?!!" And I got blank stares. Not a single student had ever heard of a Neandertal. I did my best to explain, but the news was kind of lost on them. And so I lost a little of my ebullience.

On Whale Evolution

I asked my biology students to write essays on whale evolution.

This is how Bright Kid With World's Biggest Attitude Problem began his essay:

Back in the days I'm talking before people were alive (prehistoric times) there were whales.